D. is a man without much left. Materially, he has some things, but for various reasons, it seems like that won’t last either. A few months back he made a bad decision and exhibited poor behavior. His marriage has been unhealthy for some time. His wife’s private behavior and lack of effort to build healthy relationships have resulted in isolation and an apparent inability to help herself. He desires for her to have a better life, and for them to have a stronger marriage. He wants to make up for his behavior. Nothing he has tried so far is working, and recently things got even worse. In my office, he reminded me about his deep feelings of loneliness. He shared that based on recent events, he feels absolutely lost in every way. We chatted for a bit about immediate needs and what he might be able to do. Then we turned our focus to spiritual things. I was able to convince him to be open to scripture and to truth and to God, despite his statement of agnosticism. I challenged him to read some specific things from the Bible; he wouldn’t take a Bible from me but agreed to read via the website www.biblegateway.com. He agreed that he had nothing to lose by trying this; he said he didn’t know what he might believe next week, but that he would read the Bible with an open mind. He left a bit more hopeful, and with gratitude for our conversation, but with some serious burdens. I am praying and trusting that the Spirit of God will illuminate and teach truth and prompt action that will result in an eternal heart change.
UPDATE
At his next appointment, this client shared his concern for his wife’s well-being, and said he must be stupid for feeling this way. I tried to encourage him by saying that it sounded like his love for her still has some depth. We agreed that love sometimes doesn’t make sense. He seems to struggle reconciling these feelings with his frustration for the poor condition of their marriage. He shared that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over feeling guilty about what happened between them. He also said that reading the Bible on his phone just didn’t work and nothing made sense. He asked if he could take a Bible with him, and I offered him a study Bible. He was thrilled with it and said one with notes and study helps would be very useful. He asked me to mark the passages we had discussed, so I stuck a few business cards here and there, and encouraged him to call or email if he had questions while he read. God continues to work! Please continue to pray for this man.
by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager