My client entered the clinic determined and with a plan. She already has several kids at home and could not fathom another child. Her and her long-term boyfriend had broken up and this was not his baby. “If it was, things would be easier,” she said. “However, it is not.” The man she is pregnant by is not someone she wants to be in her life. She has been working hard to get her degree and will finally graduate soon. This is not the time to bring another baby into her life.
I sat and listened to her go around and around with her decision. Then I simply asked her, “have you had an abortion before?” The words that had been freely flowing from her came to an abrupt stop. She looked at me as if weighing if she could trust me. Then said, “Yes about a year ago.” I was in nursing school and my youngest was only 1 years old. My long-term boyfriend and I had begun fighting all the time. She said she took pills and thought that would be it, “it wasn’t a baby yet anyway.” However, later on she felt like something wasn’t right. Her stomach hurt down low and she felt like something was there. She said she took a bath and with all the pressure she decided to check herself. As soon as she did she was holding her baby in her hand. She said, “see that is why I have to do it earlier this time.” I was over 10 weeks last time and I can’t see it like that again.”
I talked with her for a long while and she had decided she wasn’t going to go through with an abortion if she was 10 weeks or later. Her menstrual cycles had been off and she wasn’t sure, but believed she was 8 or 9 weeks along. I began praying to myself as I placed the ultrasound probe on her belly. Please Lord use this machine as an instrument to show your masterpiece. The baby was small, not 10 weeks along. As I began taking crown rump length measurements I continued to pray. Then the baby began to dance. Not just wiggle, but a dance before it’s mother. I quickly pushed record button on our new machine to capture the priceless moment. When I looked up my client had both hands over her face, covering her eyes. When I asked her to talk with me, she removed her hands and tears were spilling from her eyes. She said, “I can’t do it.” “I see it and it’s my baby.” I continued the ultrasound taking pictures and doing one more video. I was able to send that video directly to my client, so that in moments when she began to waiver she could pull the video of her baby up and watch it dance.
My client came back the following week for another ultrasound. This time she began to see how she can take care of 7 children. She is making plans to continue schooling with a new baby at home. She still has not told many people about the pregnancy, but has plans to do so. She has been plugged into RETA coaching and will have an appointment next week followed by another ultrasound. Seeing was believing this pregnancy was much more then a clump of tissue. Seeing allowed her to bond and connect with her child, so that she could make a choice of life for her baby.
My client has a lot of healing that still needs to be done. However, she is starting small. She is open to abortion recovery support sometime in the future, but is taking it one thing at a time. I will continue seeing her weekly until her first trimester is over and she has been plugged into an OB provider. From there she will continue with coaching and they will begin to tackle one obstacle after another and we will do it together as a team. It started with seeing, for her to believe she could do it. So thankful to all our donors for our new ultrasound machine, that allows clients to see their babies.
by Brittany, Clinic Director