Beautifully Becoming

For Katie, chaos was simply a way of life. She had no framework for recognizing that what she was experiencing was trauma.

Growing up with a mother who disappeared from her life and a father who manufactured meth, Katie was introduced to meth at the age of ten and addicted to it by the time she was in 6th grade.

Sixth grade: a time when vulnerability wreaks havoc on a child’s life. At school, Katie was bullied because of her weight and placed in special education classes due to her hearing impairment. The rejection and isolation she experienced left her feeling profoundly alone.

The only understanding of God she knew came through her father's lens. He presented God as legalistic, distant, and someone to be feared, a God who was always watching for failure and ready to condemn.

Fast forward to adulthood: addiction had seized Katie's life with a grip so fierce it threatened to destroy everything – her independence, her relationships, her very life. It was when she was at SPA Ministries that she was introduced to a different version of God. This God wanted a relationship with her. This God offered grace. This God saw her identity as separate from her addictions. She described herself then as a “newborn baby in Christ,” and like all newborns, she had a fresh start on life.

When Katie came to RETA, she immersed herself in individual therapy, group therapy, and a writing class. Within the safe embrace of RETA, she allowed herself to stop and pause. And it was in those calm moments when she felt the Holy Spirit moving within her.

Some days, Katie relates to Job, who lost everything he held dear. Yet, like Job, she has found meaning and purpose in her suffering. With steadfast faith, she trusts that God is rebuilding her life, one step at a time.

Katie embodies wisdom, resilience, and deep gratitude. To be in her presence is a true blessing. Katie is now using her voice to uplift and inspire others. She carries a journal with her wherever she goes and captures her reflections in verse that stirs the heart.

In her poem below “Still Becoming,” Katie reveals that just like all of God’s masterpieces, we are a work in progress, a beautiful revelation of His perfect plan.

Still Becoming

I’ve worn so many faces,

played so many roles,

That somewhere along the way,

I lost my own.

I’ve been the strong one,

the quiet one,

the easy one,

the difficult one,

the one who holds it all together—

even when I’m falling apart.

I’ve been praised for

being so much,

and judged for being too much.

Loved for what I give,

and left for what I need.

I’ve changed to fit in

shrunk to keep the peace,

smiled to hide pain

and stayed silent

to avoid the storms.

I know I’ve survived what

should have broken me.

I know I’ve made it

through nights that I thought

would never end.

But survival

is not the same

as living.

I look in the mirror and

sometimes see a stranger.

I search for pieces

of myself in the past,

in memories,

in old dreams,

trying to remember

who I was before

the world told me

who to be.

But maybe the answer

isn’t out there.

Maybe I don’t need

to find myself.

Maybe it’s time

I build myself.

Piece by piece.

truth by truth

choice by choice.

I’ll stop asking who I am

and start deciding.

I AM NOT LOST.

I AM BECOMING.

From AI to Galentine's: More Than Mentorship

“If it hadn’t been for RETA, I wouldn’t be where I am today,” are the first words out of Gloria’s mouth.

That may come as a surprise. Gloria exudes confidence and ambition, and from the moment you meet her, it’s clear she has a strong sense of direction. So why would this beautiful, self-assured woman need RETA’s services?

Aching loneliness.

For new moms, no one truly prepares them for the profound isolation that can exist even amid baby's cries, coos, and giggles. Gloria's heart overflowed with love for her husband and her adorable daughters, yet it also carried a deep ache of loneliness.

Gloria felt stuck, and that’s when Katlyn entered her story.

Seeing RETA’s website, Katlyn was curious about volunteering there, and initially, mentorship wasn’t even on her radar. After all, she was only in her late twenties. What could she possibly offer? However, feeling God’s prompting, she tentatively signed the mentorship form.

Before her first meeting with Gloria, Katlyn turned to AI with two questions: “What do mentors do?” and “How do I prepare for our first meeting?” Today, they laugh about those early uncertainties, but both women admit they had reservations.

Those uncertainties were quickly dispelled. Only a few months apart, the two women formed an instant bond. Katlyn learned that Gloria wanted to go back to college to become an RN. She immediately put Gloria in contact with Ivy Tech and helped her start the process. With two classes now under her belt, Gloria knows she can next step it all the way to her goal.

While their relationship certainly falls under the category of mentorship, both women say it encompasses so much more. In fact, this past February, Gloria invited Katlyn to a Galentine’s party because that is what true friends do.

What neither woman expected was the reciprocity of their relationship. As Gloria puts it, “We can see each other’s strengths, but we also see each other’s weaknesses.” If one of them gets lazy and loses motivation, the other holds up the mirror of truth. In essence, they help each other get unstuck.

With tears in her eyes, Gloria alluded to a dark period in her life five years ago, one when life spiraled out of control. Turning to Katlyn, she questioned, “What if I had you five years ago?” Although that question can never be answered, Gloria does know this: Sometimes the person who helps you move forward isn’t the one with all the answers. It’s the one who simply shows up and walks beside you.

It is Well with My Soul

When I first met her just over two months ago, she carried the quiet heaviness of despair. Her eyes, though fixed on me, seemed clouded by a veil. Panic lurked beneath each spoken word. Every movement, every word, hinted at a spirit worn thin. And yet, even in that fragility, she clung to a frayed thread of hope, as if her life depended on it.

She hadn’t known she experienced complex trauma. She hadn’t known that her childhood had been swallowed by repeated violations and a grief too deep to name. She hadn’t known that her childhood wounds touched every relationship she now had: her marriage, her parenting, and her connections with family and friends. All she knew was something had to change, that a life with no joy seemed unsurvivable.

She came with an open heart, ready to embrace everything we had to offer: therapy, couples’ mentorship, a trauma-healing workshop, guidance from our community resource navigator, and even the Family Store.

She wanted to heal.

She wanted to grow.

Each week, she told us about the subtle changes she noticed, the nuanced discoveries, the soft shifts in how she responded to life. She reiterated words of wisdom from Joni, from Scott, from the various lessons taught in the Hope and Healing workshop. Week by week, small steps began to stack, unnoticed at first, until suddenly they formed something larger.

What happened in her life was more than transformation. It was restoration. Confidence overcame fear; optimism eclipsed dread. Light and life returned to her spirit.

Last week we met together to process her journey and celebrate her hard work. Part of that celebration included creating a coping bowl, filled with colorful slips of paper listing strategies she could return to when life triggered her. As it surely would. She filled her bowl until it overflowed with notes, many of them strategies, some of them words of affirmation. Tears she never allowed herself to shed now fell freely in a deep and healing release.

Before she left, she reciprocated with a song. Eyes closed, voice low and resonant, she sang, ‘It Is Well with My Soul,’ each word rising like a quiet testimony of all she had endured… and overcome.

And as my own tears slipped freely, they carried on the truth that, somehow, against all odds…it was well.

It's On You, God

Penelope sits on the floor cradling Gael, the top of his thick dark hair brushing her chin. She is the picture of tranquility -- grace and repose in every feature. She truly has a Zen Mama vibe.

Life wasn’t always this calm, however. In fact, not too long ago, Penelope was in survival mode. After riding the storm of a miscarriage, the end of a toxic relationship, a rebound relationship that wasn’t working, and another pregnancy, Penelope found herself utterly alone. Bringing a baby into what felt like chaos seemed overwhelming. In fact, Penelope researched abortion, but once she saw her baby’s heartbeat, that was no longer an option.

As one who understands that knowledge is power, Penelope dove in headfirst to learn about pregnancy and parenting. RETA was a natural fit with its classes and mentorship program. If Penelope is anything, she is driven and resourceful. Throughout her pregnancy, she worked two jobs for a total of 65 hours a week as an AT & T sales representative and an insurance agent. During this time, she took every parenting class available and met regularly with her mentor. Additionally, she began studying for her Security Investment Exam. As Penelope stated, “I really drilled down on my studies.” When the sacred moment arrived to welcome her little guy into her arms, she was ready.

Goal-oriented, Penelope wanted to pass all three exams to become a financial advisor before her 27th birthday. With no prior experience in the financial field, a newborn in her arms, and in the time frame of six months, Penelope hit her goal. When asked how this was possible, Penelope reveals, “Gael opened my eyes to what mothers are capable of.” Her son is her “why,” and she sees God’s continuous work in this “crazy plan.” At one point, the special formula she needed for her son cost much more than what she had in her bank account, so in her prayer, she stated, “If I go broke, God, it’s on you.” Within a few days, she received a financial windfall from some taxes. Throughout all the unknowns, Penelope has been assured of God’s presence, and she has learned to fully trust Him.

Because of all she has received, Penelope wants to pay it forward. She wants to mentor women, especially minorities who lack understanding of handling finances. With 80% of household finances controlled by women, many who haven’t been given the education, Penelope would love to teach a class on financial independence in the future. Who knows? With her drive and passion, she very well may be offering that class one day at RETA! As in everything, Penelope rests in the assurance of God’s perfect plan and knows her future is in good hands.

Reclaimed

Brandy’s eyes constantly scan her surroundings, darting to any movement, whether a staff member at the front desk or a passerby outside the window.  She is hypervigilant. Her brain has adapted to a lifetime of threats, and all it wants to do is protect her. Brandy is a survivor, no doubt.  More than that, she is a miracle.

Ever since she was a child, Brandy has only known abandonment or abuse. Her mother walked in and out of her life, and when she was present in Brandy’s life, she offered little safety or protection. When the unthinkable happened at the hands of Brandy’s stepfather, her mother refused to believe her. Even after Brandy gave birth to a baby girl as a result of being assaulted, no one intervened. The deepest wounds come from those who should shelter us, and for Brandy, they were the most painful. Everyone in her life was a bystander to her suffering.

When trauma occurs this early in life with no loving adult to buffer the pain, those unhealed wounds can drag one into a nightmare she can’t escape. Brandy traveled the road of homelessness, toxic, violent relationships, and drug addiction. First her daughter and then a son were removed by CPS. Brandy endured unspeakable acts of violence at the hands of partners who were supposed to love her, which left her broken, at times unable to walk, and ultimately, in a hospital with serious stab wounds and contusions. Trapped in the fallout of shattered relationships, Brandy only understood fear and isolation.

Determined to reunify with her son, Brandy came to RETA. She longed to rebuild her life. Through participating in several programs, including mentorship, therapy, trauma classes, addictions recovery, and parenting classes, Brandy found her way back to her true identity and worth. With her son now under her roof, she plugged him into our teen program as well. Brandy took the hard and brave steps, which led to restoration and hope, and she continues to stay committed to the healing process. This month marks her one year of sobriety, one year of reclaiming her life from addiction.

Though the marks of trauma remain, Brandy now carries a lighter burden, entering our doors with a shy smile that brightens at the greetings of RETA staff. Just as relationships can break us, so, too, can relationships heal. And it is here at RETA where Brandy has met Christ followers who refuse to be bystanders.

More Than We Can Ask or Imagine

More Than We Can Ask or Imagine 

Eight hours—several spent in the car driving to and from Wrigley Field, and the others spent cheering on the Chicago Cubs. During those eight hours, a bond develops between a mentor and his mentee. Conversations deepen. Two men discuss life, challenges, regrets, and regardless of the stark differences in their backgrounds, respect and trust prevail. This is just one story of many where our volunteers go far beyond what we could ever ask. When volunteers step into this space, we don’t ask them to pick up their mentee and take them to eye exams, doctor’s appointments, or the store. We don’t ask them to spend hours on nature walks, luncheons, or shopping for Mother’s Day gifts. Nor would we expect a mentor to call area hospitals and the police when her mentee, a homeless twenty-something-year-old, goes missing. Yet time and time again, we learn of the extraordinary ways in which our volunteers bring Christ’s presence into the lives of others. Whether it is printing baby onesies on a Cricut machine or reviewing somatic exercises for the reduction of pain during labor, our volunteers embody Christ’s love in action. For many, their connections grow so strong that invitations to weddings, birthday parties, baby showers—invitations into another’s story—are a natural progression of their relationships. RETA’s volunteers are truly a blessing beyond imagination. 

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” (Ephesians 3:20). 

The Power of One

After months of meeting with her mentor and working through layers and layers of trauma, an overwrought mother finally convinced the father of her newborn to come in and learn about our men’s programming. She was exhausted from the daily barrage of verbal abuse whittling away at her self-worth.  

This father came to RETA guarded, certainly skeptical. With social expectations of masculinity deeply rooted, the stigma he felt was palpable when coming through our doors. While Darial spoke with him privately, Darial felt the Holy Spirit urge him to share his own story, a story of an absent father, of poverty, of disfunction: A story of missteps and despair, but also a story of grace and promise. As trust quickly built, this young man opened up about his own frustrations and feelings of abandonment, and at one point, revealed that he just felt so hollow inside. A flood of tears followed, opening a chasm into which Darial poured the Gospel.

Imagine for a moment the rawness of that vulnerability. A man who misunderstood power as something to wield over a woman as a verbal weapon was now rendered powerless, or so he thought, in front of another man. However, that is not how God works. It is through our vulnerability and brokenness that we are drawn closer to God. Through our fragility, we discover our divine worth. Weakness confounds strength.

Although this is just the beginning, it prompted this young man to desire change, to become the best man he could possibly be. Most importantly, it has established the bonds of a trusted relationship, one that offers healing…

And power.

A Meal, a Cake, and a Cornfield: A Simple Yes

Recently, a beloved graduate of our “Hope and Healing” workshop revealed that her upcoming birthday would be met with a sense of melancholy. Because of a past filled with trauma, birthdays for her were lonely and demoralizing. Rather than celebration and joy, birthdays evoked anxiousness and emptiness. As the day drew nearer, she grew more pensive.

Asked what her perfect birthday would entail, she responded with a far off look in her eyes, “I would run through a cornfield and eat German chocolate cake.”

Cornfields and cake. Not what we were expecting.

Given the ubiquity of cornfields in our area, we found it hard to believe she had never been in one. It is almost a rite of passage for children in this area to run through a corn maze at some point in their childhood. However, for this woman, childhood was brutally cut short and replaced with the burdens of adulthood before she was old enough to tie her own shoes.

When asked if she had any birthday memories tinged with joy, she remembered, “Once, my father made me mashed potatoes and meatloaf. It was my favorite meal.”

Sarah Elledge ultimately got wind of this story, and she was determined to give our sweet friend her perfect birthday. Questioned if it was possible to pull off in such a short notice, Sarah simply said, “Yes.” Therefore, she invited our mentee to her home, which abuts a vast cornfield. As the evening sun cast a warm glow over the field, our friend ran through rows and rows of corn. Stalks clinging to her hair and shirt, she giggled with delight. Afterwards, they celebrated with meatloaf (courtesy of Sarah’s husband), mashed potatoes, and yes, German chocolate cake (store bought, not courtesy of Sarah’s amazing husband).

As the sun set, they relaxed on the back deck while listening to Lauren Daigle sing. Reflections on growth, one’s sense of worth, and God’s grace ushered in the night sky. At the conclusion of the celebration, our friend tearfully confessed, “I have never felt this much love on my birthday.” 

And all it took was a simple yes. 

Cushioned

Cushioned 

She is a walk-in. Timid? Nervous? Embarrassed? It isn’t clear, but her speech is halted, hesitant. She sits down at the front desk, and in a voice barely above a whisper, she asks what kind of services we provide. She soon reveals that she is pregnant. No, this isn’t her first child. Her first is only nine months old, and the thought of another baby unnerves her. Lips tremble. Tears well up in her eyes. 

She is introduced to all the layers of RETA: prenatal care, prenatal classes, a Mamas and Munchkins group, counseling, one-on-one mentorship, group mentorship, pathway classes, our family store, etc. With the explanation of each service, her body relaxes, and as we set up her first prenatal appointment, she offers a tentative smile.  

Cushioned from the impact of life, she now has a place to rest. No doubt a temporary respite, but it is enough to create newfound hope and strength. 

A God Thing

A God Thing 

Pastor Joel, a male mentor at RETA, meets with a 16-year-old boy who has been sent here from probation. The other day, Pastor Joel sent us this message: 

“An incredible ‘God thing’ happened last week during our 7th meeting. At the end of our session, my client shared that God had used this mentorship to bring him back to Christ. He didn't want to stop meeting with me. He told me he had been reading his Bible, praying, and now God was convicting him that he needed to start bringing his girlfriend and baby to church. He wants to be a mature man in Christ as shown in Scripture. He asked me if Heart City Church would judge a couple of 16-year-olds with a baby. I told him, ‘No way!’ He came with his girlfriend and the baby last Sunday, and he told me yesterday they are coming this Sunday too! “ 

Immersion

Immersion 

Throughout my life, I tried and tried to get to safety, but it only got further away.  

Months ago, I was literally so far away from safety that I was sure I was going to die. I refer to that experience as the time I took “a dip.” Because I had been so high, I don’t know how it happened, but somehow, I found myself completely engulfed in the dark and frigid waters of St. Joe River, and no matter how crazy-hard I dogpaddled, I couldn’t get to shore. Whether I was pushed or fell in on my own, I will never know. My brain was completely controlled by the drugs. In the water for hours before being rescued, I suffered from extreme hypothermia. I was hospitalized and then sent to a nursing home for several months of rehab.  

This certainly wasn’t the first time I was in over my head in darkness. My descent into darkness began at the age of 11 when I was forced into a situation I could not escape. By the time I was 14, I was fully addicted to hard drugs because the horror of my life was too much to carry. Security and safety were remote dreams. My trauma, combined with my addictions, fueled my paranoia and sense of worthlessness. Two decades of running away and living in homeless shelters deepened my depression. I was lost. Alone. 

I never knew real love. When I came to Faith Mission, they connected me to Celebrate Recovery and RETA. Through the support of all three organizations, I got my first glimpse of hope, of unconditional love. People were put on my path to show me God’s grace and mercy. The more I was around people who showed me God’s love, the more I wanted to be like them. The safer I felt, the more I wanted God in my daily life. So much so, that I am inviting my Savior into my heart through baptism. All this time, He had been pursuing me. I know who I am. I know whose I am. I am God’s beloved child. 

Once again immersed in water, this time I am enveloped in love. Where there was darkness and chaos, there is now light and hope. 

-- A RETA mentee 

If These Walls Could Talk

If these walls could talk...  

 You would overhear a young couple contemplating abortion. With two toddlers and limited income, they just don’t see a way. If you could sit in the waiting room with them, you would see their downcast faces and agitated gestures.

These are the faces of despair.  

 What you would also hear are the nurse and community health nurse assuring this couple they are no longer alone, that there are layers of support we can offer. As we wrap around this bewildered couple, you would notice subtle transformations. And with her first OB appointment scheduled and his enrollment into our men’s mentorship program, they look different walking out of our building.

These are the faces of hope. 

Gilgal Stones

Gilgal Stones 

After miraculously crossing the Jordan River into the Promised Land, the Israelites took 12 stones out of the Jordan to create a memorial marking what God had done among His people. The stones served as a reminder of what they had to leave behind in order to go with God: each stone, a symbol of their past burdens but also a remembrance of God’s transformative power. 

Women in our “Hope and Healing Workshops” learn to confront the effects of trauma on their lives and identify paths toward resilience, change, and growth. Each woman has a metaphorical backpack she carries that contains the trauma and adverse experiences from her past. We help her open that backpack to understand what she has been carrying and what needs to be released. Our goal with these workshops is to point women toward God’s healing grace and truth. 

One of our activities early on is to have each woman choose a rock, and on her rock, she creatively places her burdens, whether that is painting symbols or writing words that capture her shame. She then lays down her rock -- a tangible reminder of her wounds -- in RETA’s landscaping around our tree of life. For so many of our clients, their wounds become their identity, an identity based upon lies. 

When cohort #1 recently graduated from this nine-week course, they once again took up their rocks. This time, however, they flipped them over and painted a revision describing themselves as God sees them – their true identity. Shame was replaced by redemption; guilt, forgiveness; despair, hope. And one last time, they placed their rocks around RETA’s tree of life where they will remain as a memorial to God’s transformational love. 

Worthy

She feels the stares. She sees the looks of judgment. She hears the whispers behind her back, but no voice is as loud as the one in her head. Unworthy. 

She came to RETA’s Christmas Store in December. The vision of gifts under the tree was all but nonexistent for this mother of ten. Months earlier, they had been homeless and living out of a car. Now with a roof over their heads, life was better, but she and her husband could hardly make ends meet, let alone provide for Christmas. They left RETA that day with gifts for their children, but even better, a commitment to our mentorship program. 

Building trust-based relationships is at the heart of RETA’s Mentorship program. Vulnerable and humble, our mentors invite the mentees into their lives, sharing with them everyday things, and more importantly, sharing their faith and joy in knowing Christ. 

Today, this client’s teenage daughter baked cookies with her mentor. As they mixed, scooped, and baked, they seamlessly addressed so many nuances of adolescence while also exploring faith. Side by side, they created bonds. Side by side, they uncovered joy. 

Weekly, this client comes to us, sometimes with family members, sometimes alone. Weekly, we encourage and empower her while addressing physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Weekly, she comes closer to realizing the truth about herself, the truth that in God’s eyes, she is WORTHY. 

Valued

Older than many of our clients, he comes to learn about our mentorship program. As he enters, he exclaims, “It sure does smell good in here!” That is because freshly brewed coffee sits on the entry table along with some cookies. When they are offered to him, he seems surprised. 

 His eyesight is compromised by diabetes, so one of us sits with him and fills out his intake form. Afterwards, he is greeted by Pastor Joel, his mentor. When sharing about his life, he reveals he is addicted to cigarettes, and one day, when he only had ten dollars in his pocket, he was set to go out and buy a pack. However, his daughter came to him needing money. He confesses, “Man, I wanted my smokes so bad, but that was my daughter! I had to give her the money.” 

 Pastor Joel connects this to the concept of sacrifice, and leaning in, asks our client if he is a man of faith. When he nods, Pastor conveys how sacrifice is the cornerstone of the Gospel, how Christ is the ultimate sacrifice.  

At the end of their session, this client seems confused. He asks, “How do I earn points for the Family Store? I haven’t watched a video.” A former coaching client, he is used to this transactional piece. When told he is welcome to take a few items to get him through the week and that points aren’t necessary, he blurts, “Ooh wee! Things sure are different around here.” Asked how that makes him feel, he answers with one word. 

“Valued.” 

Betty Knows

Long gray hair in a braid, hobbled gait, she enters our doors, and we smile. Betty’s here!  

Betty often stops by RETA on her trek from the library to her home, a home located a few blocks north of RETA, an impoverished area in Elkhart. A savant, Betty doesn’t read social cues and punctuates every sentence with a giggle, yet she never forgets a single detail of what she reads. Betty loves everything to do with Right to Life, and she excitedly shares the latest news, research, or items that might benefit RETA. One day it might be a clipped article she printed at the library; another day it might be a pack of flesh toned crayons of every skin color, so our clients’ children have crayons that match their skin. Not too long ago, Betty stopped by and gave RETA $90.00 from her savings. Such a significant amount! 

Richard Wurmbrand, in Alone with God, states, “I wish to be an ‘I’ no longer. I reject my ‘I.” My desire is to be a ‘He.’ ‘When He is revealed, we shall be like Him’ (1 John 3:2).” Christ, the perfect sacrifice, teaches us the purpose of surrendering. When we give everything over to God, we are blessed beyond imagination. Of this, I am sure... 

Betty knows. 

Abundant Hope

Makeup smudged by tears, she sits in our medical wing, her toe nervously tapping the floor. Seventeen weeks pregnant. Living conditions tenuous. Already a mother of a six- and thirteen-year-old. There is a quiet strength she exudes. 

A week later she returns for mentoring. She offers a tentative smile. Someone is here who will hear her story. A story of abandonment, of dropping out of high school, of addiction to meth. A story of sacrifice for her children, of fighting to stay clean, of wanting to move forward. When told she is street smart, she is skeptical. No one has ever referred to her as smart. A flicker of hope appears in her eyes.  

That flicker ignites the desire to study for the GED, and her mentor offers to walk alongside her on this journey. It begins with a small step, but a step toward pride, toward hope. Hope springs eternal when its source is in God, and it is this hope that opens the door to abundant life. 

RETA Welcomes New Executive Director, Stacey Gagnon

Roxana Konopinski has faithfully led RETA as Executive Director these past 18 years.  From two part-time employees (Roxana was one of them), to a staff of 15+ providing men’s and women’s coaching, abortion recovery support, family store supplies and medical services including pregnancy testing, first trimester ultrasound, abortion pill reversal, STD testing and treatment with more services soon to come!  Roxana retires after having led RETA’s journey into a beautiful new debt-free building in downtown Elkhart. 

We will remain eternally grateful to Roxana and her husband Tom’s commitment to honor Christ by honoring families and life.

We are excited to introduce our new Executive Director, Stacey Gagnon. 

Stacey and her husband Darren are Grace College graduates with 7 children, 5 of which are adopted.  They founded Lost Sparrows, a not-for-profit ministry as a result of working with foster children and adopting children with special needs in eastern Europe. 

Stacey and Darren are educators along with Stacey also being a Registered Nurse and national speaker at conferences with a focus on helping families understand the effects of trauma. 

Stacey and Darren have written a book to support families of special needs children entitled “Cowboy Joel and the Wild Wild West”.  They’ve appeared on the Today Show and Focus on the Family to share their adoption and family experiences. 

We are excited for Stacey’s heart and passion to lead RETA and can’t wait for you to meet her!

Couple Prepares for a Baby

In Couples’ Coaching we often serve young couples expecting their first child. A married couple due later this fall has been participating for about five months. Initially their levels of excitement about having a baby did not match, but things are on a positive trajectory. At home and at RETA they are having healthy conversations about concerns and hopes, their individual pasts and their future together. Their desire to connect here was due partly to the new and scary experience of pregnancy, and partly to talk about how to get on the same page.

They have been patient with each other and are asking good questions. She seems to be welcoming the role of mom and he is working hard to prepare the house and their property for the new seasons ahead—both in their family and with the weather. He admits to not always knowing how to communicate perfectly and has chosen an attitude of humble teachableness. He is working on being proactive and discerning her needs. As they navigate this new path, they are processing through how to appreciate the generous baby showers while developing healthy boundaries with family.

The love they have for each other and for this new life God is blessing them with is evident as we spend time together. Pray for continued health, a strengthened marriage, and a blessed, special delivery.

-Jeff Fater, Men’s Coaching Manager

A Father Learns and Makes Changes

A male client who has been involved in Men’s Coaching for about 15 months agreed to share about his experience at RETA.

The biggest learning lesson I have come away with is how to control my anger with my son. Whenever I received calls or was forced to leave work due to his behavior at school, I did not have the tools to display self-control. Since RETA, I have been able to focus my anger into constructive discipline.

Another area I have benefitted from RETA is how to be a better parent. RETA has provided me with the tools for discipline and relationship with my son. There have been many positive changes in our home since coming to RETA. Setting some rules has brought us more structure, even though I have a lot more to learn.

When I first came to RETA, my son had multiple complaints and issues at school. It improved last year and so far, this year there have been no complaints or issue with him at school. My son’s behavior has improved, and he is listening better to the teachers.

My personal communication with teachers and administrators has improved. I didn’t know how to interact with the school system here since I grew up in Haiti. The tools RETA provided allow me to have better discussions with staff and faculty, along with being able to understand my son’s report cards.

My Spiritual growth has increased. I am closer to God and feel I don’t neglect my relationship with God like before.

I have a greater hope for the future now that I know how to meet my goals.

Since coming to RETA, I have learned to be a better parent, and specifically raising a son. If he has children in the future, I feel more prepared to be a big part of my grandkids lives.

I am now more patient, and not the same as before. I am a different person.

For future clients, my advice is that RETA has given me the tools for growth to become a better man and father and a future spouse.

-Men’s Coaching Client