Paying it Forward

Martin is a married father actively parenting two young children. By his consistent involvement in Men’s Coaching he has earned his coach’s respect and multiple “Level Up” certificates and gift cards. Recently while attending another class nearby, Martin met a man in need and heard his story. There were a couple gift cards from RETA in his wallet, and he offered them. During their conversation, the man called the number on the back to see how much was left to spend. Turns out, Martin had spent the value of the cards but accidentally kept them. Martin encouraged the man to wait there while he drove home, where he had the exact amount of cash the cards had been worth. He returned as promised and handed the cash to his new friend. Martin told him, “I have been blessed by going to RETA. Now I want to bless you when you have a need.” He shared about RETA and encouraged him to get in touch.

We praise the Lord for Martin’s willingness to be generous! God always blesses his people so we can pass along his generosity and then point to him as the source. Abraham became a blessing to many nations. Paul and others received comfort in order that they might provide comfort to others. Joseph went through some tough times, gained wisdom, and gave advice to a powerful ruler which resulted in the people of a huge geographical region having food to eat during a famine. What have you received? How have you shared it? Pray with me that God will continue to bless dads, their families, and our community through Men’s Coaching.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

A Student for Life | Summer Intern Kate

Hello! My name is Kate Sherwood, and I am a student currently studying at Bethel University. My passion to advocate for the unborn began at a fairly young age, earlier than I can even recall. I have been raised in a family that places high value on understanding and implementing the Word of God, so my initial resistance to the tragedy of abortion was strengthened and ultimately emboldened by them. Because of this, I began acquainting myself more and more with the pro-life movement and exploring what it looks like to preserve life as a whole. My first steps in doing so involved familiarizing myself with pro-life apologetics, organizing groups of students to attend several March for Life events, completing a communications internship at Voices for Life, and having difficult conversations with my peers. As I’ve moved into more of a young adult stage of life, I have challenged myself to put action behind my words and cultivate compassion for women contemplating abortion.  Growing up in the area, I have been familiar with who RETA is and what they do for quite some time. During my freshman year at Bethel, I became increasingly aware that I could dedicate my career to protecting the innocent. Upon this realization, I began searching for professional opportunities to fulfill this passion and RETA was the very first organization that came to mind. My values align perfectly with their mission, which is to provide life-affirming care while building Christ-centered families, so the choice to reach out was easy! I was immediately welcomed with open arms and enthusiasm by a team of committed, zealous, and Christ-like staff members who continuously pour their time and energy into the community. In the short time I’ve spent learning and observing here, it is clear that RETA remains faithful to the Lord and dedicated to the mission. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be an intern at such a God-honoring organization, and I look forward to supporting RETA for years to come!

Praying for Our Clients

Being grounded in faith and prayer is what has built RETA up over the years. It is a privilege to work in an environment where Biblical values are upheld and our core is to offer life-affirming services and build Christ-centered families.

We regularly meet with girls and women who feel in over their heads with the difficult circumstances in their lives. A few recent encounters stand out where the client had so many fears, anxieties, and obstacles spinning around in their minds, and the situations they were facing seemed impossible to them.

I had the opportunity to listen to a sweet, tender-spirited mom as she shared about some hurts and abuses she experienced from previous partners. She had very little support in the area, as family was distant and true friends were hard to find. She desired a closer relationship with God, but felt she had let distractions get in the way of a once close relationship.

Another mom I met with was overwhelmed at the prospect of adding another child to her toddler-filled home, and her partner was adamant that abortion was the only option he was wanting. The struggle of feeling the need to take responsibility for a child was clashing with the appeal of keeping life the way it was with the family she had now, and not adding to the stress and burden she felt.

Depression, anxiety, substance abuse, parties, and multiple partners were the main events in another client’s life. She was struggling hard to keep her head above water, and was not happy with where her choices were leading her. It was hard for her to fathom how she could get back on a better path.   

Another young client had been waning between getting an abortion or keeping her child as her boyfriend was hoping. When I met with her, she was accepting the idea that she would parent, and she had support from family. However, this was all so new for her and fears of being able to do this and concern about baby’s health were clouding her mind.  

With all of these clients, it was amazing to see how simply taking time in the midst of the appointment to pray with them made a big difference in their countenance. Relief and a sense of calm seemed to flood over them as we brought their concerns before the God who cares about them and created them. This opened up opportunity to talk further about what a relationship with God can look like and that there is hope for their future. We also discussed steps to take to start overcoming obstacles, and other ways that RETA can come along side them to provide support and care through the various programs we are able to offer. 

by Melody, Nurse/Sonographer

Adding a Nurse Practitioner at RETA

In July RETA will begin looking for a like-minded, pro-life nurse practitioner who will provide free gynecological exams for women.  These exams and basic testing will be at no cost to our clients.  Our hope in offering gynecological care is to help educate women about sexual health, provide more comprehensive STI testing and treatment, and promote overall health especially within our vulnerable population. 

Within 2 years of adding gynecological care for women we hope to extend our services to include prenatal care up to 20 weeks.  This would help pregnant women get early prenatal screening at no cost to them.  We would also be able to connect them with Healthy Babies who will help them navigate getting set up with Medicaid, so that we can get them plugged in to a provider.  All while having no delay in the prenatal care they need.  This helps remove a barrier women have when considering different life options for their pregnancies.

We believe both the immediate and short-term vision of adding a nurse practitioner helps support our mission of providing life affirming services, while building Christ centered families.  We will be able to come alongside these women at different stages of care and guide them in decision making.  This may be before they are pregnant by talking about sexual health and risk and boundaries while meeting their immediate needs. It may be during early pregnancy while they are faced with an unplanned pregnancy and the choices that come with parenting, adoption, or abortion. Lastly, after having a baby, they are still able to care for themselves while taking care of their children. Overall adding a nurse practitioner provides more holistic care to a woman and her baby and directly supports our mission here at RETA.

by Brittany, Clinic Director

Compare and Contrast | Couples' Coaching

A few new couples are coming for Coaching, and a few are expecting their first babies together. This is exciting for these dads and moms, because a new life is on its way! It is fun to walk with them on this path of discovery. It is also scary for these new dads and moms, because it will be different than babysitting other people’s kids.

To help you understand more about what these couples are like, here are some details about two of them: One couple is married, the other is unmarried; one couple shows maturity and the other does not; one couple is clearly committed to each other, and the other are not-quite-attached; one couple is working, the other is unemployed; one has housing stability, the other expects more change soon; one is close with their parents, the other comes from a legacy of pain.

Which couple do you think needs encouragement? Information? Compassion? Prayer? Support? Actually, both need all of those things and much more. Coming from a family and life of blessing is a wonderful thing, but expectant parents of all kinds experience emotional and practical challenges. Coming from a troubled past is difficult, but expectant parents of all kind experience respect, kindness, and opportunity at RETA. Please pray for these couples to engage fully with each other and our ministry. Pray that their needs would be met.

God wants life to win. God wants babies to be loved. God wants families to be strengthened. At RETA we do too and are doing our part. We are thankful for faithful supporters that make it possible to know and serve our clients.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Two Snapshots | Men's Coaching

One client has had a few problems dogging his steps. He is in the process of having his drivers’ license restored and has a low income, so our Family Store has been a major blessing to him, and each week he takes home items for his sons. For a few months, he was under a cloud of possible eviction due to conflict with the property manager and some unresolved disputes. When legal procedures were followed, my client found favor with the court, and maintaining his stable housing has brought him a sense of peace. He recently used his mechanical skills to help a friend repair a car, and was given money and a meal as thanks. He is excited about almost two years of personal sobriety, and is exercising great self-control in the midst of some tough situations. So far, he has achieved the first three Levels in Men’s Coaching, and was affirmed and rewarded as a “Role Model”, “Contender”, and “Hero”. Please pray for his continued progress and that he would become even more open to spiritual things.

Another client stated that he wanted to work on strengthening communication with his wife and young children. He is firm yet kind, and has high expectations but is realistic and flexible. He wants good things for his kids both now and for their future. He is willing to lead and does not want to be a bully. As we have discussed how to teach and correct misbehavior, he is trying to avoid nitpicking and overexplaining. We have connected health in marriage with demonstrating grace, love, and patience in communication. He is being intentional about time with each family member and about being the guy they all want to be around. Communication is always a two-way street, and in a recent session he highlighted the lesson piece he wants to stick on the refrigerator so he and his wife can practice together. He is taking responsibility for being proactively positive with his entire family. Please pray that his thoughtful efforts would result in his family knowing how much they mean to him.

As we reflect on what God is doing in people’s lives, we see that God wants people to be comfortable in their homes and with their families. God wants dads and kids to know each other well. God wants couples to speak truthfully, kindly, and openly with each other. God wants marriages to be stable and successful. God wants us to have clear minds and make good decisions. At RETA we do too and are doing our part. We are thankful for faithful supporters that make it possible to know and serve our clients.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Spanish-Speaking Services at RETA

We are excited to announce the addition of Spanish services to Moms’ Coaching this year. We welcome Gabriela Vazquez to our team as our bi-lingual Mom’s Coaching volunteer. She will be ready to accept clients for the parenting classes within the next few months.

Our current curriculum offers lessons in Spanish, so we are getting ready to purchase those lessons and to update our print materials.

We were blessed recently with a memorial donation from the Nila Mast family. Nila and her husband Paul were some of the founding members of RETA. Nila and Paul were missionaries to Brazil and had a heart for the Hispanic community. In honor of Nila, we will be using a portion of the memorial to cover the cost of the curriculum.

We are thankful we will soon be able to offer our quality programming to the Hispanic community.

by Joni, Client Services Director

Hearing Her First Heartbeat Was Life Changing

This happened toward the end of the year around November. I had just come back from a trip and at the time of my life I was really at a rocky, low state of mind just trying to figure out my life. Three weeks after I came back from the trip, I found out I was pregnant. I was lost. I didn't know what to do. I was literally crying, freaked out because I didn't really expect for it to happen.

 It put me in fear because I didn't want my mother knowing. At the time we didn't have the best relationship - I didn't have the best relationship with any of my family members. My mom and I were just never close and always arguing. Telling her, “I just found I was pregnant,” I was in fear that she was going to actually kick me out or something like that due to her experience when she was first pregnant with me.

 Abortion was an option for me. I thought about it just out of the fear of being judged by my family. The hospital got me connected to two places, RETA and a women’s center, which I didn't know at the time and my first instinct was to call RETA. I got connected with them and met them the following day which is where I met Melody, a nurse. Melody was sweet. She was very helpful and asked a lot of questions about my life and what made me come here and everything like that. I took a couple tests and it was confirmed that I was three weeks pregnant. She said if I had any more questions or want to meet with her, just to come to the RETA building.

 Amber was a person that I talked to at RETA because she had an experience in her life where she did go through abortion and she regretted it very much. Something just brought me to keep the baby and do the experience by myself. At the time I did not care about doing this by myself because I didn't want to put my body through something and go through regret and have to be even in more depression than what I already was.

 After that I just started building a relationship with Melody, getting to know her and her getting to know me - about my life, was father involved, anything like that. Around my birthday I found out that I was having a girl. I was very excited about that her. Hearing her first heartbeat was life-changing because I could actually hear it. Yes, there might have been something moving but actually hearing something coming into life was something that I refused to get rid of. I feel like I would be giving a life away rather than just getting rid of an organism. That's what made the switch. It made me change my mind and I said, “No, I'm actually going to choose to handle the responsibility that I created for myself.” It was like, “Okay. I'm really going to be a mom.”

I started moms’ coaching around the beginning of the year with Joni. Joni has been such a wonderful person ever since then. I've learned a lot of things about parenting, about the baby, and just how the baby has been growing over time. I honestly did not think I was going to have the support group that I needed until I actually told my family that I was pregnant and they were very happy. That's when mom's and my relationship began to come together and build up from there. My mom was very, very excited at the time (and now). She was shocked as well, but mostly excited. I was even more shocked that my family was actually really supportive rather than very judgy about me being pregnant.

 What I'm really looking forward to like about parenting is getting to know my child, how having my baby is going to build more of a relationship with me and my mom, how my mom is going to be – basically learning and growing with my daughter and just making sure she can have the best experience in her life rather than the experience that I had or my mom had. I want her to get to know you guys (RETA) of course, because you guys are a big part of why I'm on this journey now and why she's still here to this day.

RETA has been a family. It has been a go-to. It has been a number one support group. I would say that RETA has been my second family. I can come in here anytime, and they’ll ask how I'm doing, how my life is going, asking if I need anything. Praying for me has been so important because at the time I didn't really feel close to God. You guys here at RETA are very close to God and just pray for me and pray for my blessings, always making sure that I'm getting the best care possible, making sure that if there's anything I need, they'll pray for me. They'll always be number one. They'll always support me, always say, “You got this, we believe in you.”

 Hearing that from somebody that I just met rather than hearing that from my family is totally different because I never knew you guys before and didn't know that someone I just met less than a year ago could have such a big place in my heart. RETA has been very amazing in my life, so I would say I want to thank Joni seeing the change, the shift in my life, and actually helping me share my story to other people.

 If you are in fear of letting your family know, there's always other people out here that are really are willing to support you in any way. Just keep looking forward and yes, the journey may be hard, but I promise that it will all be worth it.

by Johntella, RETA Client

It's Not Forgiving Self, It's Receiving God's Forgiveness

It’s often times very hard to grasp that God’s forgiveness for our sins is enough and we think we need to forgive ourselves for what we have done in our past. We hear of this struggle often by the women walking through the abortion recovery program. 

A woman that has walked through the study recently entered into it with these same feelings. As our time together went on there seemed to be a receiving of what God had already done for her into her heart and not just having the head knowledge of this truth. What freedom that is found and seen by others when these women are able to grasp the gravity of God’s love for them.

by Amber, Post-Abortion Support Coordinator

Love and Peace in Jesus

“John” is an experienced father with children ranging from toddlers to teens. The others live with their mother, who divorced him. She is in a new relationship, and the children appear to be struggling with the new family dynamics.

John is a follower of Jesus, and I have seen growth in him in the past year. He acknowledges that there is a lot he cannot control about his situation, and he is intentional about doing what is best for his kids.

We recently did a lesson together about how to handle holidays after divorce and it led to a good discussion. John realizes that the past cannot be changed and that Christmas celebrations going forward will be very different. He wants his children to continue to know the love and peace that can be found in Jesus even when life throws them a curve. He has a good heart, and wants to have a spirit of positive cooperation with his ex-wife as they co-parent. He wants his kids to experience joy at Christmastime despite all that is going on.

John’s situation pointed me to Jesus’ words in Matthew chapter 7 about asking, seeking, and knocking. Jesus goes on to say, “If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” In our best moments, with the most colorful gift-wrap, we can never be as generous as God. We know that Christmas is not really about gifts, but that Jesus is the Source of joy and peace. I look forward to seeing John walk his path, trusting God as the Source for all good things for his family. Please pray that they (and we) will be able to focus on Christ this Christmas in the midst of so many distractions.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Good News and Great Joy

During the week of our Christmas Store, one dad, “BJ”, was very excited to shop for his kids. He does not have daily time with all of them, in fact, only one is with him full time right now.

He and his fiancé are repainting all through their house and he has started his own business. He is a hard worker and is a stand-up kind of guy. He is doing all that is required by the court and hopes to be approved for more time with his kids soon. He gets emotional in many of our sessions, expressing his desire to be with them.

BJ was very deliberate in his gift selection, considering all his options for quite a while. “You picked the slowest shopper, Jeff”, he said. Due to the amazing generosity of our donors, he had to visit three rooms in our building to see all the toys. BJ thoughtfully looked through each one, being intentional, voicing concern for one child who prefers certain textures. He did have some plans for Christmas, but bringing home toys from our store was unexpected. He had no idea it would be possible for him to give so much to his kids.

It was fun to hear him express joy, gratitude, and wonder as we loaded his truck with boxes. More importantly, he was exposed to the Biblical Christmas story and the gospel during our session. He admitted that it gave him more to think about than he knew before. Praise God for the opportunities we have to share Good News and Great Joy with dads and moms who come through RETA’s doors! Please pray that BJ’s heart would continue to soften toward the grace and truth of Jesus.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

An Answered Christmas Prayer

Prepping for Christmas on any level is a whirlwind of activity. Prepping for RETA’s Christmas store takes it to an entirely different level.This was my first year observing the Christmas store, and I had no idea the amount of planning, coordinating, and problem solving involved to make it all happen, especially on Angie’s end. The end result, however, is one of the most beautiful rewards ever.

First of all, the generosity of our donors overwhelmed and humbled me. The outpouring of gifts and money is stunning. On one Friday, the front office space was packed with so many incoming toys that there was barely a path to maneuver through them. When clients were able to shop at the Christmas store, their faces registered surprise, joy, gratitude, some even showing tears. When given the opportunity to write a short thank you, they wrote heartfelt messages as shown in the following examples: “I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share with [my boys] how thoughtful, selfless and generous you’ve been to make this possible.” “I can’t put it into words! This is a great organization to have donated the great gifts. Just know they went to a good family in need this year.” “It’s one thing to offer programs and help to the community, but the staff and volunteers have such compassion and love for what they do!” “This place is an answered prayer. Thank you for making this possible. I’ve been stressed about how I will buy Christmas gifts for my family, and now I don’t have to worry!” These are only a handful of the thank you notes we received.

Finally, sharing the Christmas story with our clients is a profoundly moving experience. One young mom with whom I shared the Christmas packet had little exposure to Christianity.When we talked about the uncertainty and bewilderment in her own life, I was able to talk to her about my own story and how faith in Christ was my stabilizer, how I never felt alone. We were able to examine how Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and the wise men all had to take that leap of faith even though they were very much in the dark. As Roxana once shared with the staff, our job is to have the conversation; the Holy Spirit’s job is the conversion. The Christmas store intentionally provided such an awesome opportunity to do so.

by Kathy, Receptionist

New Friendly Faces at RETA

Meet four new staff members who have joined since April! We’re so glad to have these four wonderful individuals on our team.

AMY

Amy joined our expanding medical team in April. She is bilingual and has more than 20 years OB experience, including previously running the Goshen Birth Center.

TIM

Tim joined our Advancement department as Content Creator in April, providing skills in graphic design, photography, videography and social media. He graduated the Illinois Institute of Art in late 2018 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree in Graphic Design.

KATHY

Kathy joined our team in May as our new receptionist working alongside Angie. She is a retired high school English teacher whose passion for learning and interacting with others continues to energize her. Inspired by RETA's mission, she is thrilled to be part of an organization that ministers to God's children.

TIARA

Tiara joined RETA’s medical team in June. She has previous OB experience as well as experience working with women and children in a clinic setting. She is excited that God has led her to continue that work with RETA!

Staff nurse Melody said of Tiara, “I have had the privilege to be part of training our newest nurse, Tiara Jones. She has mastered meeting with clients for pregnancy tests and STI tests on her own, and will soon be completing ultrasound training at Heartbeat International’s Pregnancy Help Institute in October. As I’ve watched Tiara interact with our clients, it is obvious the care and compassion God has gifted her with. When meeting with a young mom who was considering abortion, she sat and listened to her story with intent, and helped the nervous mom feel at ease. It is with joy that she introduces a mom to her baby on the ultrasound as she out the heartbeat and features of the baby. RETA has added another great nurse to the team!”

A Heart Connection

A client came into our office for a pregnancy test. She was single and already had children. She was living with her mother and had just started a new job. Her boyfriend was not supportive in the situation at all. With all of these things stacked against her, she felt her only option was abortion. However, this was a choice she had made in her past that she deeply regretted. It was a very traumatic experience for her and she did not want to go through it again. At this appointment, we were able to connect her with resources to help her with housing and other financial obligations so that she felt like she was able to choose life. But she was still on the fence about what to do. She then came in for an ultrasound and was able to see her child’s heartbeat. She really connected with her child during that visit. She is still working on getting things in place for herself and her children, but I connected with her recently. She let me know about an appointment she’d had with her OB doctor where she was able to hear her baby’s heartbeat. She sounded so joyful at this! I am so happy that she had the strength and courage to choose life for her child!

by Kim, Nurse/Sonographer

Seeing Is Believing

My client entered the clinic determined and with a plan.  She already has several kids at home and could not fathom another child.  Her and her long-term boyfriend had broken up and this was not his baby.  “If it was, things would be easier,” she said.  “However, it is not.” The man she is pregnant by is not someone she wants to be in her life.  She has been working hard to get her degree and will finally graduate soon.  This is not the time to bring another baby into her life.

I sat and listened to her go around and around with her decision.  Then I simply asked her, “have you had an abortion before?”  The words that had been freely flowing from her came to an abrupt stop.  She looked at me as if weighing if she could trust me.  Then said, “Yes about a year ago.”  I was in nursing school and my youngest was only 1 years old.  My long-term boyfriend and I had begun fighting all the time. She said she took pills and thought that would be it, “it wasn’t a baby yet anyway.” However, later on she felt like something wasn’t right.  Her stomach hurt down low and she felt like something was there.  She said she took a bath and with all the pressure she decided to check herself.  As soon as she did she was holding her baby in her hand.  She said, “see that is why I have to do it earlier this time.”  I was over 10 weeks last time and I can’t see it like that again.”

I talked with her for a long while and she had decided she wasn’t going to go through with an abortion if she was 10 weeks or later.  Her menstrual cycles had been off and she wasn’t sure, but believed she was 8 or 9 weeks along.  I began praying to myself as I placed the ultrasound probe on her belly.  Please Lord use this machine as an instrument to show your masterpiece.  The baby was small, not 10 weeks along.  As I began taking crown rump length measurements I continued to pray.  Then the baby began to dance.  Not just wiggle, but a dance before it’s mother.  I quickly pushed record button on our new machine to capture the priceless moment.  When I looked up my client had both hands over her face, covering her eyes.  When I asked her to talk with me, she removed her hands and tears were spilling from her eyes.  She said, “I can’t do it.” “I see it and it’s my baby.”  I continued the ultrasound taking pictures and doing one more video.  I was able to send that video directly to my client, so that in moments when she began to waiver she could pull the video of her baby up and watch it dance.

My client came back the following week for another ultrasound.  This time she began to see how she can take care of 7 children.  She is making plans to continue schooling with a new baby at home.  She still has not told many people about the pregnancy, but has plans to do so.  She has been plugged into RETA coaching and will have an appointment next week followed by another ultrasound.  Seeing was believing this pregnancy was much more then a clump of tissue.  Seeing allowed her to bond and connect with her child, so that she could make a choice of life for her baby.

My client has a lot of healing that still needs to be done.  However, she is starting small.  She is open to abortion recovery support sometime in the future, but is taking it one thing at a time.  I will continue seeing her weekly until her first trimester is over and she has been plugged into an OB provider.  From there she will continue with coaching and they will begin to tackle one obstacle after another and we will do it together as a team. It started with seeing, for her to believe she could do it.  So thankful to all our donors for our new ultrasound machine, that allows clients to see their babies. 

by Brittany, Clinic Director

Persistence & Healing

We had a woman start walking through the Abortion Recovery Support group, anticipating what God had for her, but quickly became overwhelmed by the gravity of the study and having to dig up her past. With encouragement and support by the team involved, she persevered and her persistence led to a much deeper transformation and healing than any of us could have imagined. Now she is walking in that freedom with confidence which has even started to positively affect other areas of her life today. You can even see this freedom and healing on her physically and that is only because of the mighty work God does through this program to set these women free from the bondage they have been captive of for so long.

by Amber, Post-Abortion Support Coordinator

Guys & Tears

I have shared many times with our staff that “everybody cries in my office”. That is actually a good thing, and I will explain. There are many stereotypes about men. One is, Men don’t talk. Surprise—we do. A second is, Men won’t share about personal things. Surprise again—we do, when the circumstances seem safe to do so. Finally, Men don’t cry. The truth is, men actually do all those things, at least in Men’s Coaching sessions at RETA. Regardless of why they connect here, the fathers we meet with love their kids, they want to spend more time with them, they want to leave behind bad parenting habits (sometimes learned growing up), and they want to become the best dad they can.

A client I will call Chas got involved recently. The last few years of his life have brought great pain and regret. He was glad to tell about achieving 12 months of sobriety, and said he wanted to learn “how to be a man”. He does not have access to his children and wanted to talk about issues other than parenting. I explained our Men’s Coaching program and clarified that it is not counseling. In one of his first sessions, we discussed how our inner character can be revealed by our behavior. We talked about what is true of us and what we aspire to be. He talked about being a tough guy and looking like one but that he is really compassionate on the inside. Throughout the session, he became more deeply moved, then gave in and cried. Before he left, he expressed his appreciation for our talk. Through tears and a laugh, he said, “You said this wouldn’t be counseling”.

Not long ago, a man training to serve as a volunteer coach observed a new client’s enrollment session that was led by me. The volunteer and I listened to the client’s story, and heard his heart to just be a good dad after having made so many mistakes. Before we finished, there were three sets of wet eyes.

Please remember to pray for the dads, including Chas, who come to RETA. Kids need their dad, and they need their dads to be the best men they can be.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Happily Walking Forward

A man I will call Mark has a fun personality and is faithful to attend Men’s Coaching sessions. He cares for his three children with the help of a supportive relative; the kids’ mothers are unable to be in their lives due to various struggles. Being previously incarcerated has created distance between him and his kids. He wants to communicate better and more gently with them, and not let stress and frustration come out like it used to. He really enjoys the parenting lessons we do together. He asks good questions and he follows through on all the homework. He is grateful to spend his points in our Family Store, especially when his work slows down.

Mark has shared about attempting specific tactics from our sessions. One of the kids spends more time with him now when they work out at a gym while a more reserved child prefers to watch movies together and talk about them. He recently led them in organizing a better system for getting chores done, and the kids are handling their responsibilities well with better attitudes. He was excited to share about his new way of welcoming them home from school with healthy snacks and giving them time to settle in before asking about homework. It is fun to hear him share these stories with a brightness in his eyes and in his spirit.

Mark is making excellent progress in his fathering efforts. Please pray that he would have more consistent employment and income, and that his family relationships would continue to deepen and be enriched.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Referrals, Risks & Boundaries

Many clients come to RETA on their own, and some are referred. We are so grateful for the community partners who trust us enough to send men, women, and teenagers to receive our services. Our abstinence education program, recently renamed Risks & Boundaries, receives regular referrals from local juvenile probation officers. During the summer, we were busy updating our office forms, medical statistics, and the overall policy. We are excited about the changes, and are confident in the integrity of the program. We serve male and female students 1-on-1 in the office, and we present to groups in local schools and churches. Since 2020, we have even been able to meet with many clients from California via Zoom sessions! As we challenge students to set boundaries in order to avoid the potential risks of sexual behavior, we look forward to having an even greater positive impact in our community.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

Parenting Together for a Stronger Family

A couple doing Couples’ Coaching, K. & E., is expecting their first child together. He has children who live with their mother, but he rarely sees them due to distance. In a discussion about the father’s role, he shared about how his behavior with the other children did not line up with cultural expectations from his past. He said most men just work, provide money and fix things, but leave parenting and child-rearing to mothers. It was important to be tough and manly and not be distracted by family or home issues. He talked about how instead, he changed diapers, carried his kids around, and did all the things their mother was doing. He said he wanted to be an involved father with this baby too, and not be left out of important times together. He said whatever people thought, this was the kind of father he wanted to be, that he wanted to do what is best for his child. I told him I respected his attitude and encouraged him to maintain that mindset. Even before birth, kids are better off when dads like this decide to be their champions! K. & E. are faithfully coming to appointments and are nearing the third trimester. Life will get much more interesting for this couple very soon!

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager