October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It’s a month dedicated to those who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss to honor the lives of their children. These painful experiences are far too common, yet still not widely talked about.
Parents who experience this loss feel a gamut of emotions beyond grieving their child. They may withdraw from pregnant friends, especially those who shared similar due dates. And baby showers might be out of the question. They may opt out of friends’ kids’ birthday parties. Not because they suddenly stopped being friends. Not because they aren’t celebrating their friends’ milestones. But because each of those things reminds them of their precious baby they can’t hold and celebrate with and it’s too much to bear.
We do ultrasounds for a lot of parents at RETA. We don’t always have good news to share with those parents who are excited to see their baby. “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat,” are words that shatter their world. Hopes and expectations are dashed. The direction their lives were headed was violently set in a new trajectory.
Nearly two years ago, this is why we started Pregnancy Loss Support - to come alongside these grieving parents and let them know that God is still good and faithful and that he will see them through their journey of grief. In mid-October, we held a Pregnancy Loss Candlelighting event at RETA to honor the children we’ve lost too soon, writing their name and a note to them.
As a dad who’s experienced losing his daughter at 38 weeks, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child’s name as a beautiful reminder that they graced this planet, if even for a moment. I’m so thankful I’ll have the chance to see her again in heaven when my light goes out here.