$4.5 Million Goal Reached for New RETA Facility!

At the beginning of August, thanks to God’s provision through our amazing donors, we met our $4.5 million capital campaign goal! Thank you for everyone who has given or pledged to make this happen! Please enjoy the photos of the building progress since the last newsletter.

Though we’ve reached our campaign goal and there’s been significant progress on the building, it doesn't mean we're finished yet, as there's still much work ahead. There are things that come up during campaigns and building - unexpected issues during construction or those who pledged support being unable to fulfill their pledges. While we did our best to plan for the unexpected in our campaign budget, we want to encourage those of you who would still like to give to the campaign to do so at retaforlife.com/campaign.

Breaking Ground & Building a New RETA

We broke ground on the new RETA facility at the former Martin’s Pet & Garden property on the corner of Jackson Blvd. and 2nd St. in downtown Elkhart on April 15 alongside our builder (DJ Construction), designer (Abonmarche), and supporters, including the Community Foundation of Elkhart County, which provided RETA with a $1 million grant for the project. A month later, DJ Construction began demolition, tearing down parts of the existing facility built in the 1950’s and 70’s to make way for new construction. We’re renovating the oldest part of the building, the first post office of Elkhart, built in 1868. At the beginning of June, foundations were poured and recently backfilled. Within the next two months we’ll see the building go vertical.

As of writing, we are $105,000 away from meeting a $290,000 match to complete our $4.5 million capital campaign. Please consider giving to help finish our campaign by visiting retaforlife.com/campaign. You can also give by check made out to RETA with "building" in the memo line and mailed to 300 W. High St., Elkhart, IN 46516.

Teaching the Sanctity of Life

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” - Proverbs 22:6

Recently, RETA’s Advancement Director Rod was invited to teach a group of high school leadership interns at Harvest Community Church about what it means to have a biblical worldview in regard to the issue of life. Beginning with foundational scriptures about being made in the image of God, God forming us in our mothers’ wombs, and citing the equal retribution of injury for injury or life for life when one harms a woman causing her to give birth early, Rod helped the students understand what the Bible says about the sanctity of pre-born life.

After starting with Scripture, Rod then moved on to the science of life - beginning at conception and talking about the development of babies. He brought up everything from the humanity of all stages of life from zygote to elder, to baby’s heartbeat starting in the first 24 days of life, to citing studies showing pain centers are in place within the first three months of life.

Next, Rod brought up several arguments advocates of abortion typically use and broke them down. “Poverty or lack of money is one of the top reasons women choose abortion. Is that really ok to end a child’s life because you don’t feel you have enough money to raise them? If you had a two-year old and suddenly found yourself without a job, unable to care for them, is it ok to kill your two-year old? Absolutely not. How do you know circumstances won’t or can’t change? There are free pregnancy resource centers to help mom get the resources she needs and a mentor to walk beside her from pregnancy and beyond. There are also sliding scale fee, low cost federally qualified health clinics to get the medical help they need.” He also addressed several other topics from “my body, my choice” and babies with disabilities, to women’s empowerment and unequal women’s health care access to minorities/racism.

The students asked several great questions, from how to help friends who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy to how to speak with those who have already made abortion decisions. Rod closed their time with the charge to speak up on behalf of those who can’t speak for themselves.

A Glimpse into the Lives of Men

Men participate in Men’s Coaching at RETA for a variety of reasons, with different motivations, and each brings a unique assortment of personal experiences through our doors. Some are good dads who will benefit from encouragement and guidance. Some will be new dads soon, and need information and assurance. Some have had issues with authority or legal concerns. Most want input about relationships, with their children as well as with the women in their life.

One client with legal issues found out his son was engaging in the same type of behavior that got dad in trouble. We talked about how to manage that potentially awkward discussion. Another dad of a young teen daughter is navigating the process of divorce while setting a good example. They have a good relationship and he is trying to balance her growing independence with his desire to provide important advice and direction. A third father has a blended family where there is competition with other parents for kids’ time and attention. Efforts to show affection and to communicate positively often fall victim to circumstances or assumptions or disrespect. Dad often struggles with self-confidence and self-destructive behavior.

You may be able to imagine the intense frustration some of these guys feel. Some days bring a roller coaster of emotions, and they have doubts about their positive influence. Even when men take responsibility for past poor choices, it usually still means having to work through consequences. Being teachable is an important quality that comes easier to some of us than others. In our sessions, guys are able to gain skills for communication, parenting, goal-setting, and more. They are able to talk about things that help them better manage their situations and have healthier relationships.

In a recent conversation, a client and I talked about how our sessions typically involve two components. One is being reflective; that is, not just charging forward or acting rashly or fixing something, as many men tend to do. Rather, guys are able to reflect on their situation and their past actions, and then are able to move forward with a little more insight. The other is being relationship centered; by this I mean most of the materials we cover are in the context of parenting or marriage or a dating relationship. In fact, most people do most things in the context of relationships. We make decisions, cook meals, make purchases, and do our work with at least some thought about how others will be affected.

Men’s Coaching offers more than idle talk about sports or cars or barbeque—although those are important, too. We want men to move forward with information, encouragement, skills, and hope, as they impact their families and our community.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

From Abortion-minded to Parent-minded

In April we had an abortion-minded client call requesting information on where she could get an abortion. After informing her that we do not refer for abortions, she was still willing to talk with me on the phone about her options. I explained in detail what both a surgical and a chemical abortion looked like; what each medication would do and what she could expect physically and emotionally. At that time, she declined an offer for an ultrasound at RETA. But the staff prayed.

This woman explained her many reasons to choose an abortion: an 8-month-old and a 2-year-old at home, a history of life-threatening labor complications and pre-term birth, having a child die of SIDS, no family support, and indifference and lack of involvement by the baby’s father. Since working at RETA, I am learning to acknowledge and understand the very real fears and challenges these women face. Being face to face with a woman who is struggling, learning her story and what brought her to that point causes you to wonder, “If I was in her place what decision would I make?” Entering into our clients’ shoes helps me understand that if they abort, adopt or even parent, it is going to be hard, emotional, and messy. I am so grateful that God has allowed me to see how our staff and volunteers rally around the women we serve, no matter the outcome they decide. Adoption? Our nurses and advocates will help connect her with an adoption agency and encourage her to receive post-adoption counseling. Parenting? We’ll provide her with coaching support and material resources. Abortion? We will grieve her decision, but we will continue to love her, recognize her pain and provide her with abortion recovery support.

When I spoke with this client a week later she said she was planning to get a chemical abortion at her doctor’s office. Even though she had an appointment scheduled for the abortion she agreed to come to RETA for an ultrasound. What an answer to prayer! At the appointment, she was open to talking with one of our nurses about adoption more in depth, something our clients do not often want to discuss. She has since come back for a second ultrasound and voiced interest in coming for parenting classes. We don’t yet know what outcome she will choose, but we will continue to pray and invite you to pray with us.

by Darcy, Nurse/Sonographer

Meet Brittany, Our New Admin Nurse

Meet our new Administrative Nurse Brittany, who will be heading up our three other amazing nurses in our medical department! She will be diving right into ultrasound training and we could use your help. On July 7 and 24, Brittany is looking for several women 6-14 weeks pregnant she can do ultrasound scans on. Please help welcome Brittany and call us at 574-522-3888 to schedule your free ultrasound with her.

Here’s Brittany’s bio in her own words, “My name is Brittany Yoder, and I was born and raised in Goshen, Indiana. I attended Indiana Wesleyan University where I received a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Nursing. I currently reside in Middlebury with my husband, Kevin, and our three daughters. My background is primarily as an obstetrics nurse with some experience in pediatrics and pediatric intensive care. However, the last four years I have been a school nurse at York Elementary, on top of working very casually at Goshen Hospital on their OB unit.

My husband and I enjoy playing board games, camping, and watching our growing girls play sports. I love to cook, read, and watch movies with my family. We are active members at Sugar Grove Church, where Kevin and I teach 7th and 8th grade Sunday school. Over the years we have also been part of the children’s ministries and co-leaders of a small group. We are so excited God has called me to RETA and blessed to be part of such a wonderful team.”

A Mind Changed, A Life Saved

By Kim, Nurse/Sonographer

In the last month, a woman came into the office for a pregnancy test. She already had several positive tests at home and came to us looking for confirmation and support. One of the first things out of her mouth was, “I gotta have an abortion!” Over the next several minutes I asked questions about her situation and previous pregnancies. She has other children, one of whom is an infant. Several times she exclaimed, “That’s just too many kids!” We discussed her options and she said she knew abortion was wrong but didn’t know what else to do. At one point she stated, “I couldn’t do the surgical one, but I think I could do the pill.”

We continued to discuss the development of her baby and how the procedures were performed. I let her know about our Abortion Recovery groups, where many women come because they have regret from past abortions. I told her that if she knew in her heart that it was wrong, that there was a very good chance she would regret it. Later in the appointment, she said “Yeah, I could never do that. Maybe I should think about adoption.” We discussed her concerns and I gave her information regarding adoption. I also gave her a 6-week fetal model to take home and scheduled an ultrasound appointment. Before she left, I asked if she would like me to pray with her. She seemed very happy to do this and expressed her appreciation after. I let her know that we would continue to pray for her.

When she came back for her ultrasound appointment a couple weeks later, she had a very different perspective on things. She was planning to parent her child! In fact, she enrolled that same day in Moms’ Coaching and scheduled an appointment. I thank God for sending her to us and ask every day for Him to prepare us for the work we do.

From Absent Father to a Dad Who is Trying

By Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

A probation officer referred a man who has multiple children with more than one woman to Men’s Coaching; he is working through a variety of legal issues. He spends some time with a few of his kids, some more than others, and some he rarely sees.

Not long ago, he learned that he has a teenage daughter. He shared with me some of the reasons he has not been in her life. He has spoken with her by phone and they have shared messages a few times through social media and texts. Recently, she has become more standoffish and uncommunicative. She expressed to her dad that she does not understand why he never tried to find out about her, and why he hadn’t reached out earlier.

He did not want to just bad-mouth her mother and blame her for all the lost time, but he did not know how to convince the girl that he cared about her and wanted to know her better. He and I talked about the facts that he would be able to share, including his love for her. We discussed a daughter’s need for her father, and what this girl has missed out on. We talked about the emotions she might be feeling, and the details she may be thinking about. He said he knew how to talk to teens when he was a teen, but not how to talk to a teen as a dad.

I asked him to consider whether what his daughter really wanted from him was more information about the past, or something else. We were able to process through his daughter’s attitude and her words. I encouraged him to listen to her heart and to respond to her with his. I suggested that one day, what will matter to her and what will make an impact, are the efforts he makes going forward, regardless of the past. We brainstormed about some specific ways they could connect, in person and with what is in their hearts. He continues to reach out, and hopes to build a stronger bond. Kids of all ages need to know that their parents are excited to know them, and that they will do what it takes to strengthen their relationship.

The Little Things in Moms’ Coaching

By Joni, Client Services Manager

Short Story 1 | A client recently stopped in to give her offering as a donation to RETA. She shared that money is tight because her husband is without work, but they’ve been setting a portion of their income aside each week to give. Though she is the only one working, she said they were going to live by faith and be obedient to the Lord. Her obedience and faithfulness was a testimony to the work of Christ in her life. She blessed us so much that day.

Short Story 2 | During a recent moms’ coaching appointment, a client shared that she wasn’t interested in faith after I shared she could earn extra money to our Family Store by memorizing a Bible verse. I explained that her daughter could also recite a verse to earn money to buy a toy from our Family Store. At her next visit, her young daughter recited a verse from Psalm 51. The mom let me know she too had memorized a verse. She recited Romans 6:23. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” She was open to me praying for her as we ended our time that day. Seeds are continuing to be planted and watered. We pray they grow to fruition.

When a Client Goes Through with Abortion, God Doesn’t Give Up

By Darcy, Nurse/Sonographer

Back in February, we had an abortion-determined client call asking if we performed abortions and wanted specific information about how to get one. We were very upfront with her that we do not provide or refer for abortions. Despite knowing this information, she didn’t hang up. In fact, she did the opposite. She talked with me for quite a while, asking questions and allowing me to explain all her options for her pregnancy. While she did not live in our community, I was able to set her up with an appointment for an ultrasound at another pregnancy clinic out of state. This woman, though she was very adamant that she was going to have an abortion, continued to allow me to call her for several weeks. Every time I ended a phone conversation with her, she said I could call her again to see how she was doing and that she appreciated my prayers.

Despite my prayers for life, this woman chose to have an abortion. In my sorrow over this loss of life, God reminded me of his goodness. Even though this client chose abortion, I was able to pray with her multiple times. I had conversations with her that conveyed the value and worth of both her child’s life and hers. I let her know that she is still loved regardless of the decision she made. She knows that she is not alone and that she can come to us at any time if she needs help processing the decision she made to find healing, freedom and forgiveness. I rest in the fact that, though the outcome I’d hoped for didn’t happen, God is sovereign and faithful and is still pursuing her.

Cultivating Friendship in Marriage

By Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

A husband and wife have been coming for Couples’ Coaching for a while. They have some struggles that go back to the beginning of their marriage, while some have come to light more recently. I have challenged them to be specific with each other about their needs and about what would communicate love to them. They have both invested some creative energy, and have shown kindness and thoughtfulness to each other in new ways.

In one of our sessions, they talked about how when the husband does things for his wife, she expresses a great level of appreciation, and he feels rewarded by that. However, when the wife does things for her husband, he does not express much appreciation, and this has felt hurtful to her. There does not always seem to be an equality of effort, and we may return to this issue again.

Not too long ago, the husband shared that when they make big or special plans, something always seems to go wrong and ruins whatever they wanted to take place. He was frustrated about what to do next and whether it would even matter. I asked about what a fun day would be for his wife, what would feel special to her, and he offered a few ideas. I suggested that he pursue one of those activities in order to just have fun as friends, and not think about making it a grand, romantic gesture.

A couple days later, he surprised his wife at work by showing up with soft pretzels and their kids. She saw this as generous, and intentional, and she was very thankful. This led to more conversations about how they could reciprocate acts of love for each other from an internal motivation. I believe that as married couples cultivate their friendship, it can deepen the marriage relationship, and that is good for mom, dad and the kids.

Welcome, Baby Girl!

A new baby girl, Alahia was born to a young couple in early November, weighing in at 8.5 lbs and 21 inches long. Such a big girl for first-time parents!

Dad works hard on first shift and Mom cares for Alahia at home. After an April ultrasound at RETA, they have been faithful to Couples’ Coaching appointments. They have been motivated, curious and excited to learn all they could about becoming a father and mother.

In the summer, Dad unfortunately experienced both a COVID diagnosis and a hand injury, which prevented him from working for a short time. He has done a good job stepping up and taking responsibility, and being open about his commitment to their baby and being a good dad. I have made a point to affirm his attitude and behavior; not every expectant father does what he has done.

Every time they have been in for an appointment and used their dollars in the Family Store they have expressed strong gratitude for what we offer. Having clothes, pacifiers, diapers, etc. ahead of time helped them feel more prepared and confident.

He had some concerns about what to do when the baby cries, and about how to not be stressed out by it. Spending time with relatives’ kids who cried and were loud had made him wonder how he would ever handle that. She struggled with sleep issues during pregnancy. They were both fairly worried about what to expect during the birth. Baby was out of position as the due date neared, and they were hoping baby would shift so they could have a normal delivery.

All went well on the big day, and they texted and emailed some very cute photos to me the day after Alahia’s birth. They came in a few days ago, and I was able to hold her; she didn’t complain, just looked around with her big, beautiful eyes. Dad showed me his tattoo with her name—he had it put on recently, explaining that he waited until she was born to make sure she really was the girl they were planning for.

They are upbeat and positive about how happy and healthy their baby is, that she is sleeping and eating well. Nobody else is babysitting yet as they are doing their best to maintain good health, but grandmas have been able to hold Alahia a few times. This young couple is doing what they need to do and are on a good path toward being a strong family. Your prayers for clients and staff and support of RETA makes stories like this possible!

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

The Challenge of Coaching Men

Common issues with the men who come to RETA are communication, handling frustration and anger, and rebuilding trust. Other concerns include overcoming mental and emotional obstacles so they can overcome other obstacles, and disagreements about how to discipline children. Sometimes their anger has spilled out verbally on their family, and there is a mess to clean up. Men often want to have discussions with no emotion involved, and to see orderly behavior. Men often want to be understood and be agreed with, without questions from mom or kids. The parenting experiences that dads and moms had as children vary greatly, and affect their own parenting and communication styles in ways they are not always aware of.

In addition to speaking and listening differently, men and women often express love and affection differently. Respect feels and looks different to men and women; guys often show people that they are valuable to them in different ways than women do.

I have found that many people (myself included at times) tend to excuse their own behavior, and disregard advice from someone who has not actually walked in their shoes. Most of us want to present the best of ourselves and not tell about our mistakes. We want other people to change their attitudes or behavior without acknowledging that our own could use a tune-up. We point a finger at others but ignore the four fingers pointing back at us.

You may not have personal experience with what I have shared above, or maybe you now have a lot of questions! You may feel some statements are too general. You might think, “Those kinds of conversations would wear me out.” I can tell you that Men’s Coaching is a challenge and that it is worth it. Sometimes the same issues are raised by multiple clients or couples in the same day or week, and I wonder what is happening in our community. But as men or couples come in, they experience respect, honesty, grace, coaching from a Biblical perspective and stories about my own mistakes. As they open their minds to truth and their hearts to the Lord, we will continue to see marriages restored and men living out what God meant them to be. 

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager

RETA's Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner is Moving Online for 2021

RETA’s Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner will be moving online-only for 2021.

Nappanee Missionary Church has graciously agreed to host our livestream which will still take place at 6:30 p.m. on Saturday, March 6. We'll have individual and host home streaming options for attendees, with registration opening on January 11. Host homes (the equivalent to someone purchasing a table) will receive a $100 restaurant gift card as part of their registration as well as a packet similar to what they would have on their table at the live venue to have up to six other couples join them. We're going to be talking with restaurants in several cities throughout the county to see if they'll work with us on specials the evening of the event.

After spending several hours deliberating recently, our dinner planning team felt that it was best to move RETA's Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner to an online-only event in 2021.

Just as you've experienced at work or church, folks are all over in how they feel about and respond to COVID, attempting to walk the tight rope of faith and freedom while also being concerned for the health and safety of others. The dinner planning team talked about what the Governor's executive order means for the event, with Elkhart County currently being in the orange zone for COVID (which allows for 50 individuals to attend a fundraiser in person and knowing the best that it could be at blue would allow for 250 individuals). With invitations and promotions going out in January, we felt it was best to make the decision this month and so decided to take the event virtual for this coming year.

The benefit dinner brings in roughly 40% of our operating budget each year, so we hope you’ll join us virtually and invite some friends to do so as well!

Now Hiring | Administrative Nurse

We have some BIG NEWS coming January 7. Related to that, we're looking to hire a full-time Administrative Nurse. This candidate will set the course for our medical department under the oversight of our medical director, Dr. Gayle Borkowski.

We're looking for a detail-oriented, visionary RN who is also willing to learn ultrasound (we'll take care of the training!). RETA provides health insurance reimbursement. See the job description below. If you're interested, please email Roxana, RETA’s Executive Director, at roxana@retaforlife.com.

Administrative Nurse Job Description
Medical Level I
Classification – Full Time Exempt
Direct Supervisor Operations: ED
Direct Supervisor Medical: Medical Director

Purpose:  The Administrative Nurse plans, organizes, and carries out clinical services for the clients of RETA (Reason Enough To Act), providing support and maintaining professional standards of care, following the ANA (American Nurses Association) Code of Ethics. Under the general supervision of the Medical Director and the Executive Director, they serve as the medical liaison between RETA and the community. They assure that clinical services are of the highest quality possible. They will treat all clients with respect and act in accordance with the Commitment of Care. They are responsible for supervising, organizing, planning, assessing and monitoring the medical services provided by RETA, working to assure that patients are receiving the best medical, nursing and psychosocial care possible.

Qualifications:

• Prefer an RN in good standing with the Indiana State Medical Board and willing to comply with state and professional continuing education requirements.

• Expresses full agreement with RETA’s Principles, Statement of Faith and Mission Statement.

• Respects and maintains client confidentiality.

• Is dependable, stable, and capable of following through on commitments.

• Has a sincere desire to reach out to abortion-vulnerable and abortion-minded women.

• Has the vision and the ability to research requirements to advance medical expansion as necessary.

• Manages time well and is highly organized.

• Complies with RETA’s policies and procedures.

• Excellent oral and written communication skills to relate to professional, medical, church, social services, volunteers, clients, and donors.

• Possesses excellent interpersonal skills to train and supervise volunteers, to work with clients and represent RETA to the general public.

• Is willing and able to serve all clients in a way that honors Jesus Christ and supports and promotes the life-affirming ministry of RETA.

• Is willing to learn to drive RETA's mobile medical unit.

Administrative Responsibilities:

• Communicate with NIFLA (National Institute of Family and Life Advocates), Medical Director, and ED (Executive Director) to maintain Medical Policies and Procedures, Medical Forms, Charts and Filing System.

• Annually review all Medical Policies and Procedures and will update accordingly.

• Research and Comply with all State and federal OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) and HIPPA regulations.

• Will complete limited obstetrical sonography training as well as continuing education units to ensure skill level is current.

• Oversee purchase, inventory and maintenance of medical equipment, ultrasound and other medical supplies.

• Maintain NIFLA Clinical and Legal Tips and stay up to date on current medical laws and state regulations.

• Manage, supervise and train Medical Staff (paid and volunteer).

• Will maintain record of current, required licensure, certifications and immunizations for medical staff and when appropriate, for non-medical staff.

• Provide reports to board of Directors and Medical Advisory Board (if applicable).

• Learn responsibilities of answering phones, data entry and general knowledge of operations to become an important part of the ministry team.

• Communicate with and oversee any student nurse community service visits or internships through higher education institutions.

• Consult with ED annually to review and establish a proposed budget for RETA’s Medical Program.

• Be knowledgeable on current national and state abortion laws.

• Attend regular staff meetings. Communicate and work with all staff and volunteers as a team with a purpose to love, support, and reach out to all who come with the message of Christ.

• Teamwork to be shared in the center: Greeting and helping anyone who enters, receiving and recording donations, answering phones and taking messages, welcoming and guiding new volunteers, giving building tours, attending annual fundraising events, and occasionally representing RETA by speaking to groups and networking with other agencies in the community.

Client Service Responsibilities:

• Administer or supervise ultrasounds on the mobile and/or in the center.

• Conduct or delegate pregnancy testing on the mobile and/or in the center.

• Conduct or delegate STI testing and treatment on the mobile and/or in the center.

• Oversee pregnancy verifications.

• Obtain and communicate with credible and reliable lab services when necessary.

• Communicate with Medical Director acting as RETA’s medical liaison.

• Delegate and oversee all pregnancy testing according to Medical Director’s standing orders.

• Maintain a clean and sanitary environment for all clinical services.

• Review Client Intake and records to ensure appropriate documentation is accurate and complete for all required forms for services.

• Meet with clients to review Medical Services Patient Instructions and the medical procedure.

• Provide education and referrals to clients for continued care, including all other RETA programs.

• Forward appropriate clinical files and documents for review to the Medical Director.

• Ensures that sonogram will be read and signed in a timely fashion by a physician qualified to read the ultrasound scans.

• Coordinate appropriate medical follow-up.

• Will collaborate with Mobile Operations Manager to ensure proper scheduling of trained medical personnel for Mobile operations and/or center medical services.

Revised:  10/3/2015; 12/13/2015; 8/10/18

Meeting Jesus After Abortion

Over the last quarter, Tonya, RETA’s Pregnancy Loss Support Coordinator led an Abortion Recovery Support group and God did some amazing things with the women involved. The highlight of the group was one of the participants accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

Tonya said the group was real and ready - that they truly wanted to feel differently than they had after multiple abortions, leaving them feeling unforgivable. Through the group, the participants came to understand the forgiveness and freedom of Jesus, with one of the participants saying she doesn’t feel unworthy anymore because of her past decisions. Praise God for his forgiveness, freedom, healing and hope! For those who pray and give, thank you for helping bring about changed lives.

Adoption & The God of Many Chances

A few months ago, I was able to meet with a young girl facing an unplanned pregnancy. We were able to offer her free testing and an ultrasound to see her baby. The father of the baby had initially told her to “get rid of the baby,” as he did not have much of a relationship with her and did not want to take care of a child. She, on the other hand, knew she could not go through with an abortion and was leaning towards placing her baby with an adoptive family. There was one issue though: she felt this pregnancy had to be kept secret from the people she knew. She thought aloud, “How could they trust me and what would they think of me if they knew about the choices I made that I’ve hidden from them before?” She had always been the “good girl” and did everything right, but now she’s pregnant and the father of the baby doesn’t want to be involved. This pregnancy would expose another side of her that not many knew about, and she feared there would be judgment and disappointment.

Thankfully, we serve a God of many chances and one who loves and forgives us for our mistakes. As I was able to talk with her about her options, I reminded her of the hope and plans God has for her and her baby, and how he was not surprised by any of it. We talked through how to tell the ones that love her about her pregnancy, and how difficult it could be to have to keep her pregnancy and her child a secret from them the rest of her life.

I was able to do an ultrasound for her and a sweet little 7-week baby appeared on the screen! The heart was pounding away, and we could occasionally see small movements and wiggles from baby. During the scan, she talked about how exciting it was to see her baby, even though this was unplanned for her. She was able to take home pictures of her baby, along with a packet of resources. We are trying to stay in contact with her and support her throughout her pregnancy. Thank you for supporting RETA to make this possible!

by Melody, Administrative Nurse

Saving Life: A Glimpse at Hope

This past month, I was able to serve an abortion-minded client on our mobile unit. She was vulnerable and honest. She had chosen abortion in the past, but had deep feelings of regret. This woman confessed that she did not think abortion was right, but that at the moment, she couldn’t see any other option. She was seriously considering having another abortion. She was pregnant and unsure of her future with the baby’s father. Already having five older children, she did not think that she was in a very good position to raise yet another child.

I’ve heard this response from other women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. Morally, they don’t believe in abortion, yet when faced with the reality of having to choose for themselves, it starts to seem like it might be the answer. Before proceeding with the ultrasound, I asked this woman one important question: If there was one thing that could change your mind and give you hope that you could do this, what would it be? She answered with the most hopeful response, “I think if I actually see this baby, I would change my mind. I am hoping that this ultrasound will help me want to keep it.” 

And so, we looked at her baby. We saw its heartbeat. And I was able to watch as her demeanor went from hopeless to hopeful. When she left the appointment, she was still undecided about what she wanted to do, but said she felt much better about being pregnant. Several days later, this woman wanted her ultrasound records sent to her doctor so that she could get into prenatal care. I believe that God gave her a glimpse of hope when she was able to see her child. What a blessing that we are able to offer free ultrasounds and be a part of that hope.

by Darcy, Nurse/Sonographer

Passing On The Blessing

One of our Moms’ coaching clients, Lori, started a non-profit six years ago called A Woman’s Worth Creation. At the end of August, Lori and a group of supporters blessed the homeless in Elkhart with a hot meal, bags with needed hygiene supplies and clothing items. She reached out to community businesses, churches and individuals for financial support and supplies.

Lori, who has previously experienced homelessness, understands the struggles and obstacles they face. She shared with RETA staff that those who are homeless are finding themselves with even less resources than they normally have due to COVID. Lori made a decision this summer to do something about that and she did. She has a passion to love people and to serve however the Lord leads. Check out video and a story abc57 covered at the event. https://www.abc57.com/news/group-giving-back-to-help-homeless

Beside her nonprofit work, Lori is a mother of five, balancing e-learning for four different grades plus a baby. She is one of those people you intend to bless and instead you receive the blessing.

Retooling Men's Coaching

During the last few months, many of us have had new and unusual experiences that we could have never predicted.

Before March 2020, I thought zoom was a way to hurry past something, including talking to people. Now I know that Zoom is an online tool I can use to see and talk to people, or even watch a video with them. For my first Zoom meeting, I “attended” a wedding!

Maybe you have taken this unique time to reflect on the past or even make plans for the future. During these early months of the Covid-19 pandemic, we have thought through how to make changes that can benefit everyone at RETA, including some of the ways in which we interact with clients, for their safety and ours.

I have been working on how to improve the way we coach men toward being the best men and fathers they can be. We want to challenge men to greater accountability and achievement. We want them to be inspired and encouraged to be more actively engaged with their kids, especially if dad and kids don’t live together full-time.

The enrollment process has been enhanced by both covering more topics and discussing more specific details. Men will have charts to track the habits and behaviors that increase involvement with their kids. Many guys face a variety of obstacles to greater fatherhood involvement. We will take more time to address those that dad can control, and will channel energy and creativity toward external pressures that he must find a way to overcome.

Rather than have an open door to the program with open-ended participation, we will ask guys to commit to a time frame with a certain number of sessions. They can complete up to six levels of participation, and each will have unique required activities as well as increased incentives. Men will have to work through certain materials before moving to the next level.

I believe that making these changes will give men a deadline for their good intentions. Join with me in prayer that we would see extreme changes in men’s hearts, lives and families as God brings His amazing power to work through our humble efforts.

by Jeff, Men’s Coaching Manager