Pregnancy Loss Candlelighting

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It’s a month dedicated to those who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss to honor the lives of their children. These painful experiences are far too common, yet still not widely talked about.

Parents who experience this loss feel a gamut of emotions beyond grieving their child. They may withdraw from pregnant friends, especially those who shared similar due dates. And baby showers might be out of the question. They may opt out of friends’ kids’ birthday parties. Not because they suddenly stopped being friends. Not because they aren’t celebrating their friends’ milestones. But because each of those things reminds them of their precious baby they can’t hold and celebrate with and it’s too much to bear.

We do ultrasounds for a lot of parents at RETA. We don’t always have good news to share with those parents who are excited to see their baby. “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat,” are words that shatter their world. Hopes and expectations are dashed. The direction their lives were headed was violently set in a new trajectory.

Nearly two years ago, this is why we started Pregnancy Loss Support - to come alongside these grieving parents and let them know that God is still good and faithful and that he will see them through their journey of grief. In mid-October, we held a Pregnancy Loss Candlelighting event at RETA to honor the children we’ve lost too soon, writing their name and a note to them.

As a dad who’s experienced losing his daughter at 38 weeks, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child’s name as a beautiful reminder that they graced this planet, if even for a moment. I’m so thankful I’ll have the chance to see her again in heaven when my light goes out here.

Nurses in Joplin, MO

RETA nurses Melody, Darcy and Kim recently headed to Joplin, MO to learn about implementing new types of STD testing.

The training, put on by the staff at Life Choices Health Network, included medical room procedure, how STD appointments flow, how to create appropriate medical forms for these appointment, and how to integrate a spiritual discussion in the appointment. They learned about the charting process, protocols and policies, OSHA/safety issues, and following HIPAA regulations. They also went over each STD, how to test for it, how to treat it, and how to determine which tests are appropriate for each patient. The training also touched on how to market an STD program to board members, supporters, and the community; including different advertising strategies and budget proposals.

The information learned will allow us to better serve clients in their current life situations, instead of waiting until they become pregnant. We can form relationships with them before they ever have a crisis/unplanned pregnancy, so when/if that does happen, we are their first choice for care. We can provide them with quality medical care through all stages of life. We can also serve more males with these services, reaching more fathers and impacting more families.

STD Testing for Men Begins

RETA’s new STD testing and treatment program began in mid-June for women at our office and on our mobile unit. The plan from the beginning has been to eventually serve men as well and to expand to other STDs.

Starting at the beginning of the month, we stepped forward in one of those areas by beginning testing for men. There were a lot of logistics we needed to work through, from thinking through our nurses’ safety if we did male STD testing on our mobile unit to what male volunteers would we need to begin the service.

Here’s where we landed.

Starting Wednesdays in September at our office, Jeff, our Men’s Coaching Manager, served alongside one of our nurses, acting as a client advocate. The nurse performs the test and Jeff is able to talk with the client about their relationships, sexual risk avoidance and lifestyle changes. The client will then come back in a week for the results of their test. Jeff is temporarily stepping into this role until it has been clarified enough for volunteers to be trained.

Speaking of volunteers - we’ll be looking for at least two men who would be willing to come in twice a month on Wednesdays from 2-5 p.m. as male client advocates to do what Jeff has been doing. You’ll receive training from Jeff and a nurse. We’d like to find our volunteers by mid-October to early November. Please contact at our office at 574-522-3888 if you’re interested.

Hope In the Midst of Hard News

Two weeks ago, the remains of 2,246 preborn babies were discovered in the home of the deceased abortionist, Ulrich “George” Klopfer. (Click here to read the full story.)

These last two weeks have opened up deep wounds for many of the women who had abortions at Women’s Pavilion in South Bend, where George practiced. (Click here to read one of those women’s stories.) Some of those women had previously found freedom, forgiveness and healing in Jesus Christ through programs like RETA’s Abortion Recovery Support. Others are reaching out right now because this situation has taken them back to that moment in their lives and brought back the trauma, causing them to see the need to find healing.

If you've been directly impacted by the news about Dr. Ulrich George Klopfer and you're struggling, please know that we are here for you and you can reach out to us confidentially at 574-522-3888.

Life Training for Church Leaders

In late June, RETA Advancement Director Rod, started feeling there was a need to provide training for our local pastors and church leaders (and eventually whole congregations) dealing with pro-life issues - how to speak with those in unplanned pregnancy situations, post-abortive women and men, about what’s happening at Planned Parenthood and Whole Woman’s Health and how to reply to common pro-abortion talking points. Over the next month, three separate people approached Rod, asking if RETA provided such a training. (All right, God. I get it.)

After gauging interest from our supporting churches, RETA staff members Roxana, Jeff, Tonya, Melody and Rod sat down to work through what such a training could look like. They then mapped it out and reached out to local churches to invite their leaders and spouses to attend the training, which is scheduled later this fall.

We believe that through the training, church leaders and spouses will come away equipped and confident about dealing with pro-life issues with their congregants. It’s so important that they know how to communicate effectively in these scenarios and when/how to make a positive hand-off to an organization like RETA.

Our goal is to refine the training and open it up to more people. Eventually, we’d like to create an 8-week small group curriculum for churches to be able to use to equip their members. Please pray for wisdom and great attendance as we proceed. Also, if you’re a church leader reading this and you’re interested in attending, please call our office at 574-522-3888 and ask for Rod.

2020 Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner Preview

Planning is well under way for RETA’s 2020 Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner presented by The Norris Estate, which will be held on March 5, 2020. We have some great updates planned for the event.

Our venue has moved from the northeast side of Elkhart County to the southwest side. We’ll have the event at Sammlung Platz in Nappanee. Attendees will all be in the same space, some on the balcony and most on the main level.

With the new venue, we’re also going to have a streamlined registration process. For those tech savvy individuals, you’ll be able to choose your own seat online, that way you’ll already know your table number and where your table is when you arrive. For those who would like to call our office to register, we’ll be able to select your table for you. All you’ll do when you show up that evening is drop your ticket off (if you registered online) or share your name (for those without a printed ticket) with one of the greeters who will help point you in the right direction of your table.

We know you’ve been waiting to hear who the keynote is for the 2020 Dinner. Meet Kristan Hawkins.

Kristan Hawkins has always been a passionate advocate for the unborn. She is a Christian, wife, mother, activist, author and speaker. She was hired in 2006 to launch Students for Life of America’s full-time operation, to transform culture by recruiting, training and mobilizing the pro-life generation. Since then she has taken a dozen student groups scattered around the nation, and has helped multiply that number to over 1,200 organized Students for Life chapters in all fifty states. Kristan has also served as a presidential appointee at the Department of Health and Human Services and as a presidential advisor. She’s been featured on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, CBS, ABC and HBO.

We would also add that Kristan is fantastic in a debate format as well. After Kristan shares her message during the evening, the emcee will ask her to respond to some of the most pressing questions we face as a nation. It’s going to be an amazing evening.

Registration will open mid-January online at link.retaforlife.com/dinner. If you’re interested in sponsorship opportunities, please contact Rod at RETA at 574-522-3888.

Mothers' Club Kicks Off a New Year

RETA’s Mothers’ Club kicked off the 2019-2020 school year this week. Mothers’ Club leader Brandi took some time to introduce herself and lay the ground work for what the year would look like. Following that, the ladies enjoyed a game where they shared more about themselves, including something the others present might not know. One participant shared she’d placed in the top 3 in an international cooking competition when she was younger! Amidst the talking and laughs, there was a great sense of camaraderie. The months ahead are going to be a blast with guest speakers, crafts and cooking.

While the moms got to know each other, their kids had fun, playing games and eating snacks in the childrens’ area, headed up by RETA staff member Rhonda.

RETA's Mothers' Club, a community group for moms with free childcare for infants through pre-k, meets Thursdays weekly during the school year from 9:30-11a at Belmont Mennonite Church in Elkhart.

The Crazy Fun Mothers' Club Picnic

RETA's Mothers' Club Picnic took place this week at Twin Branch Park in Mishawaka and it was a blast! The ladies had fun playing games, while their children played on the splash pad and jumped around the bounce house. Mothers’ Club’s leader, Brandi, planned several fun activities for the moms, including a game where the moms, as a team, had to carry a hula hoop using only their index fingers to the finish line. After the games, the moms and their children got to enjoy some delicious grilled food.

Mothers' Club is a free community group for moms to get together to laugh and learn. It meets Thursdays from 9:30-11a.m. at Belmont Mennonite Church in Elkhart during the school year. Free childcare is provided for infants through pre-k. There's no registration required. Mothers' Club kicks off on August 22.

At The Elkhart County 4-H Fair

The Elkhart County 4-H Fair brings something new and something familiar each year we attend and 2019 was no different.

The weather causing the fair to close early was something new this year. At RETA’s mobile unit location, our three nurses were able to provide pregnancy and STD testing and ultrasounds five days at the fair. During our non-service hours, RETA staff and volunteers gave tours and chatted with passersby. Due to rain and storms on Sunday at the fair, all attendees were asked to evacuate - including those in the middle of an appointment on our mobile unit!

Each year at our other location at the fair in Exhibit Building F, we see the older couples who walk by silently, glance over and give us a thumbs up in appreciation of our work. We see the young families with little children who stop to pick up our baby models, which show the development of a baby in the womb. The same goes for the pregnant mothers who stop as well. We get to answer questions from those in need and interested in our services. We make new community partnerships with like-minded individuals. We don’t often have folks stop to berate our work, but that unfortunately happened this week as well.

As a supporter, you’re probably aware we provide life-affirming services and that we don’t coerce women into making the decisions we hope for. We provide a pregnancy test, ultrasound and all the information that a woman needs to make an informed decision. Our hope is that through hearing the truth about the pre-born child she’s carrying, she will choose to parent or place for adoption.

One of those who stopped at our booth to decry our work said we “better have services available for those [we] make keep their disabled babies”. We were able to reply kindly and honestly that Elkhart County has great resources for those parents - ADEC, Lighthouse Autism Center, Mosaic as well as great programs in our schools. We’re grateful to live in such a resource rich county!

Speaking of our resource rich county, those who visited our booth also took notice that we were fortunate to be next to Veni’s Sweet Shop from Nappanee, selling delicious fudge. Make sure to stop by our booth next year to say hello and stick around to get some fudge while you’re at it!

Summer of Service at RETA

A group of nearly 20 students and adults hopped out of a bus in front of RETA’s office before making our landscaping look new and cleaning all of the children’s toys in our coaching offices. The students were part of a weekend of volunteering known as Summer of Service.

Summer of Service is an annual event hosted at Bethel University for students from churches of different denominations to come together to serve their community.

We were fortunate to have the upbeat crew take a tour of our building, learning about our services and passing along information that they can share with their peers who may need it.

We are so grateful for groups who volunteer in these ways - cleaning, landscaping, doing maintenance work, drives for our Family Store or fundraisers - which help the staff to focus on our mission. If you have a group interested in volunteering with RETA, give our office a call at 574-522-3888.

More Secure Thanks to You

Last month, RETA’s office was vandalized, with two windows broken by rocks. The staff found out on a Monday morning after coming in and seeing the windows in one of our coaching offices and our medical room broken. We were sad to say the least. Not knowing the motivation behind the thrown rocks, we looked at other local businesses to see if they’d experienced anything similar and they hadn’t.

At that point, RETA didn’t have any security cameras outside our building. We’d never needed them. After contacting our security company about installing outside security cameras and a window repair place to get everything fixed, local church plant, Cornerstone Vineyard Church, offered to pay for the window. This was such a blessing!

This month, the windows were fixed and the security cameras were installed. If we have a later evening for our mobile unit or a late night at the office, we are now safer with the camera system. We wouldn’t have that without the support of our amazing donors. Thank you!

Nurse and STD Training Complete

Melody, RETA’s Administrative Nurse, recently trained our staff and mobile advocates to prepare us for STD testing. She went through everything from answering phone calls and social media requests, to scheduling appointments, how tests will run and how they fit in with our pregnancy testing and ultrasound.

STD testing officially began on June 17. When clients come in for an STD test or for a pregnancy test and request an STD test as well, we are able to use the urine sample to test for gonorrhea and chlamydia. (We’ll continue to expand our STD services to include men and other STDs in the future.) The test is then shipped to a lab, where it’s processed and within 48 hours, we receive the results electronically to let our clients know if they are positive or negative. We want to use this service as a way to educate our clients about the importance of sexual risk avoidance.

Speaking earlier of training, Darcy and Kim, RETA’s two new staff nurses completed their ultrasound training this week. In July, they will be ready to begin doing ultrasounds on their own. This is huge as we’ll be able to see more clients in our office and on our mobile unit.

Training, Testing and Treating | Medical Expansion

There are some new and exciting developments in RETA’s medical program!

Last month we mentioned that two nurses joined our staff. Darcy and Kim are halfway done with their ultrasound training and should be finished and on their own by the end of June. (Thank you to everyone who has volunteered to be an ultrasound model for us!)

Starting June 10, RETA will begin providing free STD testing and treatment at our office and on our mobile unit around Elkhart County! As we begin the new service, we'll be seeing females and testing/treating chlamydia and gonorrhea, with expansion of the service to men and other STDs in the future. We wanted to launch into this area, not only because Elkhart County has the seventh highest STD rate in the state, or because we want to begin expanding into women’s health services, but also for the opportunity to reach and educate more sexually active clients with our mission.

Speaking of reaching more, did you know that 1 in 4 women doesn’t receive any prenatal care? Working with our medical director, RETA now offers free prescriptions for prenatal vitamins to anyone who is pregnant or would like to become pregnant. Those interested can contact one of our nurses at the office and they will contact your local Walgreens, Meijer or Martin’s Pharmacy so you can get free prenatal vitamins.

5K For RETA

Moriah and Jenny Randolph of People’s Bible Church spearheaded a 5K fundraiser for RETA that took place in early May. With our mobile unit on-site, 225 runners started their run, enjoying the scenic route down tree-canopied county roads. The event raised more than $12,000. People’s Bible Church also took a collection of items for our Family Store. We are so grateful for their amazing support!

Escape Artists

Thanks so much to Way Out Escape Rooms for running an Art Heist Escape Room experience at RETA! The hour-long escape room had players solve puzzles to find a code to unlock an uppity art professor’s frame holding his prized painting. Participants then switched out the painting with “The Poker Dogs” picture and take a selfie before time ran out. The groups who participated had a blast and together raised more than $800 by having some fun.

New Nurses

Welcome RETA’s two new nurses, Darcy Lederman (above) and Kim Shaffer (below)!

Darcy believes in our mission and wants to be used by God in her new role as Nurse/Sonographer. She enjoys cooking, playing with her kids Jackson (3) and Henry (1), kayaking, mountain biking and reading. She’s married to Kenyon, her husband of five years.

Kim joined RETA’s staff because she has a desire to be in the community, helping others and sharing the love of Christ. She loves

spending time with her family and doing crafty things - quilting, sewing, decorating. She has two children, Matt (30) and Logan (23) and has been married to her husband Mike for 31 years.

We’re so excited to have them on our team!

Our Medical Director, Gayle Borkowski, MD

Meet Dr. Gayle Borkowski of Fairhaven OB/GYN, who serves as RETA’s Medical Director. She became RETA’s Medical Director in March of 2019 because she believes we need to protect life from conception through the end. She’s in a unique position to provide expertise as a woman in the OB/GYN field because she wants to buck the assumption that as a female, she must hold a more liberal view of women’s health. She serves as a voice for women in the medical field who hold to more conservative views.

Dr. Borkowski has been on staff at Fairhaven OB/GYN since 1998 and is the most senior partner there. She pursued OB/GYN care because of its broad spectrum, from providing primary care through surgical intervention.

She is married to her husband of 25 years, Shek and has four children, ages 17-24. When she’s not busy with her duties as a doctor, Gayle enjoys horseback riding.

We are so grateful for her heart for what we do at RETA!

He's Here! Staff Baby, Elan

RETA staff members, Rod and Angie Tackett recently had their long-awaited baby boy! Here’s what Rod had to say.

Elan (EE-len) Salem Tackett was born Wednesday, March 20 at 7:33 p.m. He is 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 20.5" long. His first name is a take on a Hebrew word for tree based on the verse Isaiah 61:3. "And provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called trees of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." His name is a name of hope for us, after mourning the loss of our beautiful daughter Avi two years ago this same week. His middle name is a Hebrew word for peace, which is something we want to define our family. All together, Elan's name means tree of righteousness and peace. Elan is the display of God's splendor. He points to God's faithfulness to walk with us, see us through hardship, provide for our needs and to show he isn't finished with us yet. We are so thankful for God's abounding mercy to allow our son life and the honor to raise him! We ask for your prayers for wisdom as we learn how to parent and do our best to not suck at it. Thanks for your love and prayers over these last two years for our family and for your love and prayers in the years to come as Angie and I rise to a new season of life helping our Little Tree to grow.

We praise God for his life and celebrate with them! Welcome, Elan!

Trick Baby

Dr. Ron Archer spoke to a packed crowd at the Northern Indiana Event Center on Thursday, March 7 at RETA’s Celebrating Life Benefit Dinner. His booming voice and powerful story inspired those in attendance to stand up for the sanctity of life.

Ron’s story begins with tragedy, as he was born to a teenage call girl after failed back-alley abortion attempts. His life was plagued with abuse and torment because of his disabilities. After a teacher stepped into his story, that all changed. She began to show him that God loved him and had a plan for his life by teaching him how to read by learning the Bible. Ron’s life changed when he met God and learned about who he was as God’s dearly loved child. He graduated as valedictorian and went on to become a church planter and presidential adviser. We’ll be posting a video of our evening together on our Facebook page and YouTube channel soon.

Ron has a book, entitled What Belief Can Do coming out in May of 2019, which can be pre-ordered at https://amzn.to/2NRxLSS.

The dinner has so far raised $202,000 as donations continue to come in. We're so grateful for everyone's support to make free pregnancy testing, ultrasound, parent coaching, pregnancy loss support and healthy sexual boundaries education possible for our wonderful clients. Above are some unedited photos of our amazing evening together.

Staying Inside the Fence

Joni and Jeff from RETA have the privilege of presenting our Healthy Sexual Boundaries Education in local schools, most recently at Elkhart Memorial High School. Students are encouraged to choose abstinence before marriage as a means to their best life, helping them think through how their choices now will impact where they end up and how it will impact their future relationships.

Near the close of their presentation, they help the students think through the difference of reducing risk versus avoiding risk. As Jeff says, “You can’t just get part of an STI or get just a little bit pregnant.” The only foolproof way of making sure you don’t get an STI or experience an unplanned pregnancy is abstinence. We know this because our coaches have met with pregnant clients who have used various forms of birth control, whether medication or barrier.

Abstinence is a difficult, but not impossible choice. It’s made easier through determining where your boundaries are. Jeff says, “It’s a lot easier to figure out your boundaries ahead of time. 11 o’clock on a Saturday night watching a romantic movie when the parents aren’t home is probably not the best time to try to figure out what your boundaries are.” Setting up boundaries, like not allowing a boyfriend over when parents aren’t home or not staying out with a significant other past 10 p.m. are boundaries that will help students reach their ideal future. They know what their triggers can be.

Jeff compares boundaries to a small child inside a fence. Inside the fence is the parent who is just a call away, the friendly dog, the red ball to play with and the plush grass. Outside the fence are the noisy, zooming cars, stray animals and strangers. The little girl can walk up to the edge of the yard and look outside the fence and see these things are around, but she’s protected from them by the fence. In the same way, the students’ boundaries act as a fence that keeps them on track for their ideal life. They know these other things exist, but if they stay inside their boundaries, without a doubt, they will be in a better, less complicated, more fulfilling spot in life.

You can learn more about our Healthy Sexual Boundaries Education which is offered to groups or one-on-one here.